Let’s face it—being single isn’t always easy. When you’re out with the girls, eyeing that cute guy at the bar, he stares back but then quickly returns to chugging his beer. And that guy you always flirt with in your chemistry class—he still hasn’t asked you out. You’re pretty, intelligent, and have a lot to offer—any man would be lucky to have you. Men are interested in you, but they never go any further than a quick glance or a hello. So, what’s really going on here?
It’s possible that your body language is giving off all the wrong signals, like that you’re high-maintenance, unavailable, or even worse, a boring chick. It’s like Elle Woods once said, “you’ve got all the equipment, and you just need to read the manual.” Her Campus caught up with Janine Driver, body language expert, spokeswoman for Venus Gillette razors and author of You Say More Than You Think: A 7-Day Plan to Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want, to tell you how to make yourself most approachable in day-to-day situations where cute guys abound.
At The Gym
You’re at the counter checking in at the gym, handing over your ID, headphones on, not even realizing the hot guy standing right behind you.
According to Driver, the best way to position your body language in this situation, besides quickly removing your headphones, is to have one hand on your hip and the other on the counter.
“This means you have confidence,” she said. But Driver said to beware of having just one-hand on your hip— without the other on the counter. “One hand is seen as attitude.” Yikes.
But if you miss the cute boy at the counter, another good time to grab his attention is during your stretch.
“Sitting takes away the threat of rejection from the guy, it looks as if you are looking up to him,” Driver said. “It’s a great way to empower him.”
Driver said to never approach a guy if you are standing, when he is sitting. This puts the power between the two of you out of balance and can be seen as “too aggressive.”
In The Classroom
Classrooms and lecture halls can be filled with cute guys and even potential boyfriends. It’s just about mustering up that courage to make conversation with that guy the right way.
Driver suggests asking him questions in class. Just a simple, “what’s your thought on that?” to break the ice. Driver also said not to be afraid of giving him a slight touch. If he’s sitting next to you, you should touch his arm and ask “can you help me with this?”
But just like at the gym, you should never approach him when he is sitting and you’re standing.
“Don’t go over and stand over him, his mother stood over him when he got in trouble,” Driver said.
And we never want him to think of us as his mother, do we ladies?
At A Party Or Bar
It can be intimidating when you walk into a party with a herd of girls. University of Iowa senior Shannon McDonald said she feels it’s difficult to meet boys when she goes out with a big group.
“A guy doesn’t want to get turned down in front of a lot of people,” McDonald said.
Driver suggests branching off with only one girl if you are looking to meet a guy that night. But if you do find yourself in a group bigger than two, it’s important to be in the middle.
“Standing in the middle is seen as confident,” Driver said. “It’s like a Bulls eye, people always pay attention to the middle.”
A smile is also key, at the beginning, to grabbing a man’s attention.
“Go in with the kind of smile that you have a secret that nobody else knows,” Driver said. After the smile, you should make eye contact with him for about four seconds, look away, and then look back. If he’s still staring, “that’s good news,” Driver said.
Another tip to have all eyes on you is to pick the two hottest guys in a room, and squeeze in between them to get a drink. Driver said that this increases your “perceived value,” by making you look more desirable by hanging out with the coolest dudes.
If you are sitting at the bar, it’s vital not to be facing completely towards it. Driver calls this the 30-degree opening, which can apply to any situation. She said to always have a 30-degree opening from the object you are sitting at; this creates a small opening to be easily approached by a man.
But even if you grab your man’s attention, what comes next is important, too.
You should always use “palm up” gestures, Driver said. “Palm up means you are very likeable.” Never communicate with him with your palms facing down.
What it all boils down to though, according to Driver, is confidence. And in any situation, if you aren’t feeling good about yourself, other people are going to catch on to that.
Driver suggests that before leaving your place you make a “list of gratitude” by writing down ten things you’re thankful for. This way you’ll be feeling positive and confident and that cute guy will notice and feel that, too!
Sources:
Janine Driver, Spokeswoman for Gillette Venus razors and NYT Best-Selling author of YOU SAY MORE THAN YOU THINK: A 7-Day Plan to Using the New Body Language to Get What You Want!
University of Iowa senior Shannon McDonald