When you’re in a long-term, serious relationship, you know that it can only end in two ways. Either you’ll spend the rest of your life with this person, or you’ll break up.
The first time you go through heartbreak is usually the hardest. When you’re young and in love, it may feel like the end of the world when your relationship fades or one person no longer feels the same way. Falling out of love with your SO can be difficult, especially in college when you’ve got so much else to balance on top of dating.
Whether you’re going through your first break up or have experienced your fair share, you may find it comforting to hear other breakup stories from college women who’ve lived it too. The truth is, we’ve all been there and most of us can relate when it comes to falling in and out of love.
If you’re in a relationship that’s not going well and you’re wondering how you can prepare yourself for the pain that may be coming your way, just know that you’re not alone. Hear from 8 college women who’ve been through hard breakups, cause they’re so ready to get you through this tough time.
Here’s what they had to say:
“I met my partner in college and we hit it off immediately. I felt like the only girl in the world for him. But then, his best friend called me asking me to have coffee with him, and he told me my SO had been seeing other girls. When I confronted him, he denied the whole thing and before I could break up with him, he dumped me and left. I was angry I didn’t get the chance to say it first. It took a couple of months for me to get over it completely. I wanted to show my ex how good I was so I started to get more social by joining clubs, internships, and taking risks. Because of my break-up, I found new ways to love myself!” – Katrina, Sonoma State University
“My experience was so sudden. My initial reaction was shock. I had never felt that hurt before and I tried hiding it from my family and the world because I felt embarrassed, as if something was wrong with me. I made a mental note of the pros and cons of the relationship and what emotions made me feel and that’s when I decided that it was time to let go. I also deactivated my social media accounts for the summer to really focus on myself.” – Angelina, North Carolina Agricultural & Technical State University
“Every one of my friends saw it coming except for me, who was trying everything I could to hold onto a relationship that was disintegrating. Talking it out made me feel better. I cried it all out with my friends and I also found a new hobby to devote my new found time to that allowed me to do something worthwhile rather than spending that time thinking about him.” – Jade, Howard University
“We dated for almost two years and he had been my best friend for seven. It was the summer going into first year of university and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do long-distance. I started thinking about him as more of a friend than a romantic partner, which is something I struggled with for months before we broke up. I broke up with him, which was really hard, but we decided to stay friends. I ‘serial’ dated a lot of people and that honestly made me feel better and eventually, I moved on. We remain really good friends and have a lot of respect for each other, even though we have gone in separate paths” – Joanna*, Western University
“It was one of those situations where everything was perfect on paper, but not in reality. It was devastating, even though I could see it coming. I put more effort into class and sports, I got really into reading about successful women, and I learned conversational Welsh. I think I was fully, or at least partially, over it when I saw the effects of my hard work.” – Stephanie, University of Wisconsin
“My first breakup was definitely a doozy, as I was the one being broken up with. I depended on the people around me a lot the following months, and they gladly took me in with open arms. I would say to anyone going through a breakup, look to those around you for love and acceptance. Don’t be afraid to lean on your best friend’s shoulder or to cry in your mom’s arms, regardless of your age. Listen to those around you. Listen to their advice, especially those who have gone through heartbreak before.” – Erynn, Central Washington University
“I was able to rely on my friends to help keep me preoccupied with other thoughts. I also recommend sticking to your schedule as much as possible in the days post-breakup. As you move on, you’ll be happy you kept following your alarms and attending those meetings.” – Rebekah, Gettysburg College
“The more days that pass, the more moments I have where I’m perfectly fine.” – Aly, Ithaca College
While experiencing breakups can be one of the greatest pains you endure, it’s important to keep in mind that the pain will not last your entire life. Many women find that it helps to talk about your feelings and process your emotions. It’s not healthy to suppress your feelings, but you also shouldn’t let your sadness stop you from living your life.
*Some names have been changed.