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Sex + Relationships

How to Make Moves on Someone Who’s Terrible at Texting

There’s no letdown quite as disappointing as finding someone you’re really into in person, but as soon as you exchange numbers, you realize they suck at texting. A so-called “bad texter” is someone who falls short in having meaningful text conversations; it’s almost as if their usually charming personality goes out the door. Sometimes they take too long to respond, or their responses are short and not expressive. There are a variety of reasons why someone could be a bad texter. It could be due to shyness, social awkwardness, bad communication skills, or (sadly) disinterest.

Whatever the issue, liking someone who is a bad texter is rough. After all, most of our communication (and flirtation) nowadays is through our phones, so if they’re not the best at it, how do you make a move? Here are some tips on shooting your shot on a bad texter.


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First, figure out if they’re even interested.

Usually, if someone is unresponsive or boring over text, you may be inclined to believe they’re just not that into you. However, don’t make that judgment solely based on their texting behaviors. If they’re kind of bland texting and in person, then maybe the two of you just don’t click, even if you want to. Sometimes, you meet a person that seems perfect but once you talk and text, you still don’t click. If after a couple of interactions you’re just consistently getting indifferent vibes from them, it’s time to move on.

On the flip slide, many people are actually super engaged and even flirty in person, but can’t translate that same energy over text. If the two of you have very rich conversations in person and there are even some flirtatious interactions between you two, do not give up hope! Continue on with these tips and see how you can take your textual relationship to the next level.

Ask questions that warrant an interesting response.

Questions are the easiest way to get a conversation going, but it’s important to ask questions that create opportunities to get some cheeky flirting in. Good questions are simply ones that warrant more than just a “yes” or “no” response. A cheeky game of 20 questions or even a dabble in the famous “36 questions that lead to love” could be some excellent ways to get deeper and even more romantic answers out of the other person.

If you don’t want to go too deep because you’re still early in, then asking them about a common occurrence during their day can easily transition into a flirty conversation. Try asking about their job, like if they had any funny customers if they work in retail, or ask them how their most boring class went — then offer to keep them entertained while they’re in lecture *wink wink*. Again, these aren’t yes or no questions, they require interesting responses.

Related: 5 Proven Ways to Get Him to Text Back

Migrate to a different platform.

Sometimes, texting truly isn’t for everyone. Every person communicates differently and maybe the person you’re interested in just doesn’t find texting to be the most “engaging” way to communicate. In that case, think about other forms of social media or communication that could better suit your POI. For example, if you’re not getting a lot of actual words from the person, but they love sending you pics of what they’re doing, then switch to Snapchat. It seems obvious, but there are times where you just don’t think about the fact that over half of your conversations are about photos of lunch, a funny happening on campus, or a show you’re both watching. If you’re a meme aficionado, go onto the Instagram and start DM-ing them your favorite meme posts. The social media world is your dating oyster (sort of), so try out other platforms to jog conversation.

Once you’re on that other platform where you think they’ll be more forward, then it’s time to get saucier with your responses. Innocent snaps of talking about what you’re doing can start the conversation. Gradually send more cute selfies of yourself asking them to hang out, which is an obviously flirty gesture. If they’re sending similar responses, where they are eager to hang out with you after a Snapchat conversation, that’s a good sign you’ve gotten better at simply jogging their interest (if not enticing them with your newfound flirtation skills).

Keep your schedules in mind.

This may be a given, but if your crush is not texting you as much throughout the week, don’t assume it is because they’re just not into you. Usually, a week is going to be busier for them than a weekend, and the same may go for you. Understand that the two of you have different schedules and you can even use that as an opportunity to flirt. For example, you can ask a good question about when they are free at night, and then text them that late and carry on a conversation for a long time. Don’t expect constant communication every day because one, it’s clingy, and two, it’s not realistic for both of you. So keep that in mind at least before you write them off. However, since texting is the best way to communicate throughout a busy day (as opposed to calling), whenever you two text, it should be a nice, meaningful way to catch up.

Related: How to Make Your Dating App Conversations More Interesting

Text your way into meeting IRL.

Hopefully, with these tips, your texts with your crush will be a lot juicier. But while the flirty texts are part of the fun, they’re nothing compared to spending time with the person, in person. So, when you’re pursuing a special someone, find opportunities to not only flirt more in your texts, but push for more face-to-face interactions. For example, you could DM them about how this Instagram post from a nearby cafe has your mouth-watering faves and when you two talk about how good it looks, you can invite them to go try it out as a date. Honestly, you’re not going to care about a subpar text if it lands you a sweet date later. 

Surprisingly, texting carries relationships much more than we may realize. But while we’re very tempted to just give up on “bad texters,” we could be missing out on getting to know some wonderful people. 

Iesha Ismail studied as a double major in English and Women's Studies at the University of Florida. Iesha is the High School/Her Future editor, a Feature Writer, and Style Blogger for Her Campus National. She was also the senior editor for Her Campus UFL and senior content editor for UF's Sparks Magazine. She is currently working in editorial for a financial research publication firm, and a guest contributor for Muslim Women Professionals. Iesha loves to observe nature and fashion as inspiration for all kinds writing she's into. Fashion, culture, drawing, and animation are just a few of the passions she plays with on the daily. Whether it's writing colorful stories or sketching in her worn out sketchbooks, Iesha always dabbles in anything art.
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