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Sex + Relationships

How to Actually Find a Boyfriend on Tinder

It’s the totally addictive dating app that’s helping to match people across the nation. Tinder is designed to help you find people in your area that you’re compatible with and could possibly date. After setting up a profile, the app allows you to quickly and easily sort through potential matches by swiping left if you’re not interested in the individual or swiping to the right if you would like to get to know the person.

However, Tinder has gained the reputation of being an app for hook-ups rather than one for potential dates. Now, instead of finding Prince Charming, you’re stuck wading through an endless Tinder sea of Jersey Shore castmember lookalikes. So, what’s a girl to do?  Luckily for you, collegiettes, we have the perfect guide for how to find a relationship on Tinder.

Your Profile


When you’re setting up your Tinder profile, it may be tempting to exaggerate a few things to increase your chances at a match. While you may feel like adding in a couple of white lies about the books you’ve read, your height or how old you are, you’re better off with the simple truth.

“The worst part about any online dating app is when people lie about their interests, their hobbies or even their looks,” says Michael, a junior at the University of Cincinnati. “You either find out that you have nothing in common or realize that you can’t trust this person.”

Be confident in who you are and what you place on your profile. If your Tinder profile is honest, then it gives you a better chance at connecting with a guy that you could actually get along with. Plus, if your match does turn into a relationship, you know that it started out of total honesty.

Julie Spira, a cyber-dating expert, also recommends using your profile to be clear about what you’re looking for.

“If someone doesn’t fill out their profile and specifically indicate that they’re looking for a relationship, chances are they might only be interested in a hook-up,” Spira says. “Be specific in your profile. Say you’d like to meet someone to have a long-term relationship with.”

Your Pictures

 


Since Tinder is a primarily visual app, you want to make sure that you have the perfect photos. Your six photos are the first things that a guy sees on your profile, so make sure they send a clear message of who you are and what you want. If you’re looking for a relationship on Tinder, then your photos should immediately send that message.

When you’re uploading your photos, choose photos that are clear, are in focus and have quality lighting. From here, pick photos that reflect your personality and your interests. For example, if you play a sport, choose the latest shot from a practice or game. These small steps will give your profile some personality and show other users what you’re like instead of just what you look like.

“A lot of girls on Tinder tend to post photos of themselves with a ton of makeup, weird filters or in really revealing clothing,” says Jacob, a junior at the University of Michigan. “I guess girls think that’s what we’re looking for, but … it makes me think that the girl just wants to hook up instead of actually get to know people.” 

Avoid using photos that have any kind of sexual message. “Those who don’t want to hook up on Tinder make it pretty clear with their photos (less cleavage),” Spira says. “Those who want a relationship are pretty clear of their relationship goals.”

The Swiping


One of the best parts of Tinder is that it eliminates all awkward rejections. If you aren’t interested in a potential guy, all you have to do is swipe left, so why not take advantage of that? So when browsing through all of those potential Tinder matches, be picky! There are a ton of guys out there, and Tinder will always generate more profiles, so it’s up to you to narrow down the candidates. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by swiping right on a guy you aren’t all that interested in.

“When I first started using Tinder, I constantly settled with who I swiped right for,” says Madison, a sophomore at Vanderbilt University. “I was just so hung up on the idea that I wouldn’t get matched with anyone that I decided to constantly swipe right to help my odds. It turned out to be a horrible idea, because then I got matched with guys I really didn’t have an interest in.” 

According to Spira, men usually swipe right to just about every girl, so it’s up to you to you to be selective with your possible matches!

“There are over 10 million matches a day and over 850 million swipes a day on Tinder, so there’s an abundance of connecting,” Spira says. “Take the time and don’t rush to swipe left or right based on looks alone.”

The Chatting


Once you’re matched with a fellow Tinder user, you have the ability to text each other through the app. While this is a good time to figure out if you’re compatible with each other, it should also be the time to set limits. If a guy starts to hint at things that you’re uncomfortable with, tell him that. By drawing the line early on, you’ll set a clear boundary that lets the guy know exactly what you’re looking for.

“For a lot of people, Tinder has the reputation of being an app just for hook-ups, so people tend to be a little more bold,” says Whitney, a senior at Louisiana State University. “In my experience, a lot of guys feel more comfortable just asking for sex or a hook-up on Tinder. As long as you let them, they’ll ask.”

Spira says to watch out for the messages he sends you. “If his first chat message to you says, ‘Hey, you’re hot!’ it’s definitely hook-up language,” she says. “See how your texting conversation goes, and if it’s all about sex, then the answer [about what he wants] will be clear.”


At the end of the day, Tinder is a dating app, and, hey, dating is supposed to be fun! Make sure that you don’t get so wrapped up in your profile or your matches that you forget to just enjoy yourself. 

Sarah is a junior at Centre College. She is majoring in International Studies and Religion with a minor in Linguistics. Along with working as a Contributing Writer for HerCampus, Sarah also writes as a Contributing Writer for USA Today College. At school she serves as the Editor-in-Chief of the school paper, a Resident Assistant, and the Marketing and Publicity Intern for the Norton Center for the Arts. In her spare time, Sarah enjoys riding horses and attempting to satisfy her coffee addiction.
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