Ghosting is something that everyone goes through at least once in their life, right? Finals season might seem like the perfect time to ghost too. You’re stressed and tired, and might not be fully present in any relationships. However, there’s never a perfect time to ghost and finals aren’t an excuse.
I bet we were all told by our parents to treat others the way that we want to be treated, and we can all agree that ghosting isn’t very kind. There are obviously exceptions to the anti-ghosting rule, like if your boundaries are being constantly ignored. If you’re not feeling the relationship though, honesty is the best policy. Just rip off the metaphorical bandaid so both of you can move on and focus on finals.
Actually ending the relationship is better than the possibility of a post-ghost awkward encounter when you’re forced to see and possibly interact with them. Imagine having to literally face the consequences of your actions like that? No thanks.
I hate to break it to you f you’re pro-ghosting, but these aren’t just my thoughts. I spoke with three experts — Stacey Huffman, Deon Black, and Kasey Rogers — about ghosting during finals season, and here’s what I realized.
Yup — ghosting is a form of emotional manipulation.
Ghosting might not seem like a big deal on a surface level, but think about all the times you were ghosted — was it a fun feeling? Definitely not.
Ghosting in college is even more common than you think; 51% of students indicated they have been ghosted, and 48% shared that they have ghosted someone else, according to a Campuswell survey.
“Ghosting is a form of emotional manipulation and should be avoided whenever possible,” says Stacey Huffman, a relationship expert and founder of Attraction Expert. “It is especially important to be mindful of the other person’s feelings when it comes to ghosting during college. Finals can be a stressful time for students, and ghosting someone during this time can add to their stress.”
As college students, we’re already stressed over things like tuition, working and studying, bills, and so many other random things. In March 2023, 66% of college students in a Gallup poll reported experiencing stress and 51% reported feelings of worry “during a lot of the day,” U.S. World and News Report reported. It’s not common courtesy to add another stressor onto someone’s life, so I recommend avoiding that at all costs.
A bonus reason that ghosting isn’t the best idea: the possibility of seeing them again on campus. Imagine how incredibly awkward it would be to see someone you ghosted, and be forced to interact with them.
“Ghosting at any time can be emotionally distressing, but during finals, it could add unnecessary stress and distraction,” says Deon Black, a certified sex educator and dating coach. “Plus, you’re likely to encounter your ghostee on campus afterward which could lead to awkward encounters or even ruin your favorite dining hall sandwich experience!”
I don’t know about you, but my post-finals chicken, avocado, and spring mix wrap is the highlight of my semester, and I’d prefer not to ruin it with any awkward encounters
Don’t ghost, just be honest.
Ghosting may seem like the easiest option during finals. You’re stressed and tired, and it might feel like the best solution to just avoid talking with the other person, but it’s important to fight this mindset.
“If you are no longer interested in seeing someone, it is important to be honest and direct with them,” Huffman says. “It is better to have a difficult conversation than to ghost someone and leave them feeling confused and hurt.”Confronting someone about your relationship can seem daunting, but everyone knows how it feels to be left waiting for someone to text you back after a prolonged period of time. It sucks, to say the least.
It’s also key to remember that it is a form of emotional manipulation and should never be used as a way to end a relationship, says Kasey Rogers, the editor-in-chief of Advice for Her. “It is important to be honest and open with your partner about your feelings and intentions, and to be respectful and considerate of their feelings,” Rogers said.
Ghosting is often considered abuse because it shatters self-esteem, and the hurt can be as sharp as physical pain, The Mighty reported. Maybe ghosting never seemed very serious before, but it should now.
There are some exceptions to the general anti-ghosting rule though. For example, “If your safety is at risk or your boundaries are being disrespected, ghost them immediately,” Black added.
If you’re thinking of ghosting just to avoid dealing with an awkward conversation, then this isn’t the break-up method for you. Ghosting isn’t fun, and it’s equally not as fun causing unnecessary stress in someone’s life, especially during finals, just because you want to avoid confrontation.