Any guy who has seen 27 Dresses hates that movie.
But not because it’s a romantic comedy or because it’s a bad romantic comedy or because it’s a bad movie, although all those things happen to be true. No, guys hate 27 Dresses because no guy is one of the X-Men.
Let me explain.
(But before I do, let me interrupt myself: as I write this, I am now reminded of my sole guy friend who loves the aforementioned cinematravesty. However, said friend is a walking anomaly, a proverbial outlier, a native of rural Vermont, who rocks high top sneakers and listens to NWA, but while also wearing a three-wolf moon T-shirt—all without an inkling of irony. He makes no sense, and neither do his preferences. Therefore, for the purpose of this article, his opinion doesn’t count.)
Now, whether your calendar says it’s late or early, prepare for the rapture: guys like romantic comedies.
A specific kind of romantic comedy, that is.
Girls, as we know, love all romantic comedies because of what the genre inherently is. A mere whiff of a rom com’s cheesy aroma creates an involuntary reaction: hand moves to chest, eyes gaze longingly upwards, torso sinks slightly (to match the heart), and the throat emits an abrupt “aww!”
It’s different for guys. First, it helps if the rom com is an objectively good film. (Although, this is not to say guys only enjoy good movies. Take The Fast and The Furious, for example, a movie that guys love, despite the fact that its three most redeeming qualities—expensive cars, automatic weapons, and Vin Diesel—would only be tolerable if switched to silent.)
A guy may be more likely to enjoy a rom com—and even admit to it—if its predictable formula is laced with something more stimulating: legitimate humor (Forgetting Sarah Marshall), action (Miss Congeniality), high schoolers making a porno (The Girl Next Door), or Jennifer Aniston (Along Came Polly).
The problem is that these movies and ones like them are only questionably rom coms. Most of them, you could argue, are more appropriately situated in another genre—maybe just, comedy—or at least straddle the line between two. Just because a movie is romantic and also a comedy doesn’t make it a romantic comedy: pit The 40-Year-Old Virgin in a showdown with Vicky Cristina Barcelona to see which is more quintessentially rom com-y, and watch Javier Bardem execute Steve Carrell No Country For Old Men-style.
So, when dealing with legit rom coms—the kind where you can literally ring out the sap like a washcloth—there are three that guys consistently adore: When Harry Met Sally, Knocked Up and, their all-time favorite, Love Actually. So, what’s the difference between these surefire it’s-da-bomb coms and ones like 27 Messes [sic!]?
There are many, of course, but the most significant—whether guys realize it or not—is that the male protagonist in 27 Dresses, James Marsden, is not relatable. And by “relatable,” I mean some combination of vulnerable, lonely, and insecure.
No guy sees himself in James Marsden. For one, as an unethical newspaper reporter and cynical misogamist, Marsden’s character is initially unsympathetic to males and females alike. But even beyond that, to guys, his vulnerability is unconvincing (unlike the kind of real vulnerability most guys spend their entire lives trying to unconvince themselves of). Plus, James Marsden is hotter than 99 percent of all men. Even Katherine Heigl thinks he’s out of her league.
When the male protagonist in a rom com is portrayed this way, as some beautiful, distant, unattainable knight in shining armor, guys feel threatened, inadequate, and emasculated—and subsequently lash out, hence why college guys get in bar fights. Any guy old enough to hate a rom com has come to terms—and not without resistance—that he has nothing in common with and is therefore jealous of the guy who played Superman, Corny Collins (Hairspray, remember?), and Cyclops. No guy is one of the X-Men.
The reason that guys love Knocked Up andWhen Harry Met Sally is because every guy sees himself as a Seth Rogen (unattractive, unworthy, easily winded) and/or a Billy Crystal (hairy, Jewish, tragically confined by the loneliness within his own self-constructed walls of feigned arrogance). Love Actually works for guys because the narrative of the relatable male protagonist is deployed over and over. Look beneath his confident exterior, and plug the guys in your life into one of these character equivalents: Liam Neeson (lost, abandoned), Liam Neeson’s sage-like stepson (lovesick, hopelessly romantic), or Colin Firth (bumbling, hapless).
Then, take these realistically flawed characters, and look at the female leads they eventually win! Rogen gets Heigl (blonde, even!), Crystal gets Meg Ryan (I’ll have what he’s having), Neeson gets that Icelandic-looking MILF (the unassuming, down-to-earth (i.e., best) kind), his stepson gets the Mariah Carey mini-me (despite the fact that she’s a foot and a half taller than he is), and Firth gets his sexy Portuguese maid (we’ll forgive the ugly tattoo).
Guys see themselves in these characters. So when these characters fall in love and have it reciprocated, a guy’s belief in the existence of “true love” and—more importantly—his potential to attain it are reaffirmed.
So, ladies, next time you ask a guy to watch a rom com, make sure it stars someone that reminds him of himself. Because, let’s face it, you’ll enjoy it either way.
Sources:
http://thefilmlog.blogspot.com/2010/07/27-dresses-2008.html