Content warning: This piece mentions sexual assault and violence. In the wilderness of modern romance, navigating a landscape of wild love is fraught with uncertainty and fear. From the shadows of sexual trauma, to the treacherous pitfalls of toxic masculinity, the current dating scene can feel like a jungle where danger lurks at every turn. However, in light of these challenges, some are considering an entirely new question — and they’re choosing the bear.
If you find yourself alone in the woods and stumble upon a choice between encountering a wild bear or an adult man, what option would you choose to be stuck with? I don’t know about you, bestie, but many other women and I are unironically choosing the bear over the man due to perceived dangers in modern relationships.
I know it may sound absurd at first, but hear me out. While bears may seem like wild creatures of instinct, they possess some qualities that can make them surprisingly appealing in comparison to some men. In a world where women often feel vulnerable and threatened in relationships, the idea of cozying up to a bear might actually feel safer.
So, let’s address the elephant — maybe bear — in the room. While it’s true that bears are wild animals capable of inflicting harm, the same can unfortunately be said for some men. In a society where Sexual Assault Awareness Month serves as a sobering reminder of the dangers women face, the perceived threat posed by men in relationships can be enough to send anyone running for the hills — or the nearest bear cave. The sense of safety is the ultimate goal of the question.
Additionally, TikTokers are pointing out that it is more likely to be killed by another human than it is to be killed by a bear. According to The North American Bear Center, the (roughly) 750,000 black bears in North America kill less than one person per year, making men (aged 18-24) 167 times more likely to kill someone than a black bear.
Unlike the unpredictability of human behavior, bears are refreshingly straightforward. They don’t play mind games or engage in manipulative behavior. If an untamed bear chooses to engage with you in the woods, it would. It’s as simple as that. If a bear shows affection, you can trust that it’s genuine. Plus, there’s something undeniably alluring about the rugged charm of a bear lumbering through the forest. Kidding. (Kind of.)
In a world where consent is paramount, bears offer a clear advantage. Communication barriers are virtually non-existent when your potential partner communicates through growls and body language. And let’s face it, a bear is far less likely to pressure you into anything you’re not comfortable with.
In a society where men are often perceived as the ultimate predators, the idea of being in a relationship with a bear feels oddly empowering for some women. So, the next time you find yourself navigating the forest of love, consider how it might be time to trade in the complexities of human relationships for the simple, bare necessities. I’m not about to go face-to-face with a bear anytime soon, and maybe my opinion would change if I were to encounter a bear in the wild — but, hypothetically, I’ll take my chances.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1(800) 799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, you can call the National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit hotline.rainn.org.