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Sex + Relationships

6 Ways to Feel Romantically Fulfilled Without a SO

Being single has its perks (read: saving money on dates and gifts, doing whatever you want without worrying about another person, etc.), but sometimes – especially after scrolling through endless fall-themed couple pics on Instagram – we just want to feel loved and satisfied. However, there’s no need to start frantically swiping through Bumble and Tinder trying to find your next bae, because you can fulfill yourself without a SO. Need proof? Read on.

1. Take yourself on a dinner date

They have small tables at restaurants for a reason, so don’t be afraid to hit your favorite places by yourself! “I love going solo to dinner,” says Sarah, a senior at Temple University. “I can order anything I want without feeling judged. I also don’t have to think of weird small talk. Sometimes I bring a book along, because there’s nothing better than good food and good reads.” There’s no shame in being by yourself at a restaurant; you can reflect on yourself and your life, all while chowing down on your fave foods.

2. Watch a romantic movie in bed

Grab your boyfriend pillow – I mean, body pillow – and snuggle up for a night in, accompanied by your favorite rom-com. We recommend anything with Katherine Heigl or anything based off a Nicholas Sparks book – you can’t go wrong. Even better, you can pop a big ol’ bowl of popcorn without having to share it with anyone. Pour a glass of wine, queue up the Netflix and think about all of the people that are probably on horrible dates right now.

3. Write down all of the reasons you love yourself

It might seem cheesy, but taking some time to journal positive thoughts might just fulfill you. Once you see all of the beautiful qualities about yourself written down on paper, you’ll realize you don’t need a SO in order to be living your best life as your best self. “Whenever I’m feeling insufficient, I pull out my phone or a notebook and jot down positive thoughts and characteristics that remind me of my worth,” says Anna, a first-year student at Montgomery County Community College. “It’s hard to feel fulfilled when you’re single during cuffing season, but this helps me a lot.” Make a list of all the reasons you love yourself, from surface-level thoughts about your appearance to your personality characteristics. Hang it up in your bedroom for a little much needed inspo when you’re feeling lonely.

Related: What it Really Means to Love Yourself

4. Take things into the bedroom…(you know what we mean)

Whether you’re single or not, feeling sexually fulfilled is important. Even if you’re not sexually active, sometimes you still need some satisfaction. Watching porn isn’t anti-feminist or dirty, and it can even be ethical. So if that’s what you’re into, go enjoy yourself! Masturbation usually goes hand-in-hand with watching porn. It allows you to learn what you like sexually, it can be empowering and it can even relax you. So go ahead, indulge yourself.

5. Pick up a new hobby

One benefit of being single is that you can do anything you want without worrying if your SO is having fun. You can be entirely selfish – at least when it comes to how you spend your time. Have you had an urge to pick up embroidery? What about something like power lifting or running? “When I was with my ex, I always felt like I couldn’t try things that were adventurous or tomboy-ish,” says Morgan, a senior at Temple University. “I’ve always loved rock climbing and hiking, so when we broke up, I finally was able to start doing these things.” You have more time to try new adventures when you don’t have to focus on planning things with a SO, so maybe try to learn more about yourself in the process.

6. Treat yo’self!

Who said you couldn’t order 1-800-Flowers for yourself? Exactly. Order a bouquet, write yourself a love note and act super surprised when you receive it. Splurge on fancy underwear and bras (because feeling sexy even when you’re wearing sweats is *so* important). If you’ve been vying for Fenty Beauty products or those amaaaazing leggings from Lululemon, treat yo’self! You’d be spending the money on dates and gifts for your SO anyways.

See? You can do just about everything without an SO that you could with one. Romance doesn’t just have to be between you and another person; it can be all about you.

Temple University, 2019. Magazine journalist and editor, fitness instructor, health and wellness enthusiast. Proponent of lists, Jesus, and the Oxford comma. Will do anything for an iced oatmilk latte. Follow my journey: Twitter + Instagram: @sarah_madaus
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