Valentineâs Day sex is notoriously, well, sexy. But that magical headboard-shaking V-Day sex doesnât happen naturally (at least not for everyone). Whether you and your V-Day date are casual FWBs, in an uncommitted situation-ship, a throuple or youâve been dating for eons, exceptional Valentineâs Day sex doesnât just happenâespecially if youâre doing the same routine. After all, you canât go through the same motions and expect different results.
While you could don your overpriced lace lingerie and hope that you and your SO can magically recreate that notorious car sex scene in Titanic, that probably wonât happenâ mostly because you and your bae arenât Kate Winslet and Leo DiCarpio. However, you can stop fantasizing about the top ten movie sex scenes and spice up your sex routine this Valentineâs Day.
So before you go all 50 shades of terrible BDSM stereotypes, try incorporating some of these tips into your Valentineâs Day sex marathonâbecause you deserve to have some spicy sex this February 14.
1. Make a game out of it
Traditional board games might not make their way into your V-Day evening plans, but making a game or a scavenger hunt out of what happens after your Valentineâs Day dinner can actually help build anticipationâwhich will make whatever goes down in the bedroom (or kitchen) even sexier.
If generic strip poker games or an X-rated version of Truth of Dare arenât your thing, then you can always create your own sexy game.
An anonymous student at Iowa State University reveals that she and her SO organize a sexy scavenger hunt on special occasions, including Valentineâs Day. âSometimes we hide clues around the bedroom and those clues are linked to certain clothing items weâre wearing or certain body parts. We try to be creative and personal with it, so the clues can sometimes say âyour girlfriendâs favorite physical attribute herselfâ and then another clue or a task could be written on my shoulder,â she explains.
While the sexy scavenger hunt might take a decent amount of planning and collaboration with your other half, itâs a creative way to make your V-Day sex better than your typical Tuesday night sex.
Plus, playing a sex-positive game can help ease you both into some tantalizing foreplay (youâre welcome).
2. Watch porn together
While you might not want to start your evening by scouring the internet for porn, watching porn can help get you and your V-Day cutie in the mood. Or the porn could replace your sex soundtrack as some background noise.
A graduate student at the University of Illinois at Chicago, Sara*, explains that she occasionally watches porn with her SO as a way to heat up their sex life. “Sometimes we don’t actually have sex after watching some porn. We just use it as background noise lengthy makeout session.” After all, the porn moans and sounds will surely amplify even the most mundane tongue tango.Â
Regardless of your taste, you and your V-Day date may want to find some ethical porn, because you can still be a feminist and enjoy porn.
3. Change up the location
If you and your SO typically do the deed from the comfort of your own bed, then you might want to change up that vapid routine and opt for the couch or a chair. Granted, if you have roommates you might not want to do some hanky panky in the common area of your apartment.
Even if your roomies swear that theyâll be out of town on Valentineâs Day or that theyâll call you when they head back to the apartment, itâs always best to anticipate an abrupt interruption.
After all, you might not want your roommate to barge in while youâre mid-climax, up against the living room bookcase (a la Atonement)âunless of course you, your beau and your roommates all consent to that arrangement.
Regardless, weâre pretty sure you donât want to risk 15 minutes of bliss on your futon just so your roommates can find out that you keep your socks on during sex.
While you and bae could scuttle off to the bathroom to cap your evening (or start it), bathroom sex is riddled with safety hazards and impending sex-related injuries. After all, successful shower sex is basically a myth.
Instead of shifting your horizontal tango to a different area of your apartment, you can always find an inexpensive and classy Airbnb to finish your V-Day with a bang (or five).
4. Tell your V-Day bae what you want to do to in the bedroom
Talking about sex is potentially sexier than sex itself (donât @ me). After all, talking about sex and everything you want from sex is extremely intimate, even if you and your date have been seeing each other for years.
We all change and so do our passionsâincluding our sexual desiresâand while your V-Day babe may have consented to sleep with you, that doesnât mean theyâve consented to every single sexual act you have planned. Therefore, communicating with your SO about what you find sexy and what you want to do to them (and vice versa) is a great way to make sure everyone is on the same page, and it can help you two lust-birds get in the mood.
If you canât talk to your partner about your sexual itinerary, hopefully, because it would just lead sex midsentence and not because youâre embarrassed to talk the act with your beau, then you can always try some sexting sessions.
Not only is talking about shagging necessary in a healthy relationship (and yes, that extends to FWBs and one night stands too), it can help you and your SO ease some of your sex anxiety.
5. Get some new toys
Whether you have a cabinet full of sex toys or none at all, getting a new toy or two can help intensify your V-Day sex.
Though you could browse for a new blindfold or bullet vibrator online, going to a physical sex store can help you learn about sex stores you never thought existed, but would totally use.
Most sex toy store employees are eager to help you find the perfect toy for your Valentineâs festivities. If you arenât a sex toy shop regular, then you might be too timid to ask the cashier for nipple arousal cream suggestionsâbut you shouldnât feel ashamed for asking questions.
Sex toy shops are a judgment-free zone. Every customer is there to invest in a toy for themselves or a gag gift for their next bachelorette party (or both), so you shouldnât hesitate to ask questions.
6. Try some flavored lube (or flavored protection)
Lubrication is essential to healthy and happy sex. You could opt for your generic water-based lube or even try a more advanced lube with a tingly sensation, but even that can get dull at times.
Itâs not news that Valentineâs Day is known for its abundance of aphrodisiacs (mostly chocolate). While most people use these sweet libido aids as a warm-up to the grand finale, covering your partner with chocolate syrup is triteâand your V-Day sex-scades should be anything less than corny. (And food-play isnât for everyone, because it can be messy.)
Flavored lubes are an amazing alternative to the overplayed whipped cream and chocolate. Even if you have a finicky palate, you shouldnât be timid when it comes to flavored lubes or edible sex paint.
John Remus, a senior at Iowa State University, explains that certain sex-toy shops actually let you taste test the lube at their stores. âTheyâll help you find a lube that actually tastes good, so you donât spend money on something you hate,â John says. After all, it might dull the mood a bit if you start puking because the new flavored lube you bought tastes like Pepto Bismol and crushed aspirinâs offspring, not like thatâs ever happened to me before.
If you still canât quite swallow the idea of using flavored lube, there are plenty of flavored condoms as well as flavored dental dams. Unfortunately, most sex shops wonât give you a free flavored condom to sample; however, most public university offer free condoms and dental dams to their students (including flavored ones).
Regardless of your bedroom plans, using protection is the best way to spice up your evening plans on Valentineâs Day. After all, knowing that youâre protected and relatively worry-free automatically helps your libido.