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Sex + Relationships

5 Signs You’re Leading Him On Without Realizing It

Uh-oh! Have you broken a guy’s heart—without even knowing it? In the past, you may have accidentally sent sexy signals to some unlucky dude, when you actually weren’t interested in moving him out of the friend zone. Her Campus talked to college guys, and they had stellar advice for what not to do. Next time, you’ll be able to catch yourself when you’re giving off the wrong signs.

1. You Touch Him a Little too Much


You’re chilling with your guy pal and you playfully slap him on the thigh because of some crude remark he made. But that good-humored thigh slap can have implications you weren’t even aware of.

“I was at this party and this girl was very touchy-feely,” says Logan McCann, a junior at Central Michigan University. “And [then] she randomly ducked out.”

Collegiettes, this is a big, fat no-no. If you’re not hooked on a dude, physical contact is off-limits. Touching him in any way (even a little arm punch!) will definitely give him the idea that you’re attracted to him. Of course, tapping him on the shoulder to get his attention is okay, but anything past that will send him the wrong signal. That rule that you learned in kindergarten about keeping your hands to yourself still applies in this case.

2. You Make too Much Eye Contact


You know that hot guy in your class whom you can’t help but sneak a peek at every… oh, three seconds? And you laugh extra loud at those cutting comments he makes in class. Those are surefire signals that you’re interested—so don’t bust the same moves on a guy friend.

“Girls who I thought were interested would give me a lot of eye contact, and be more into the conversation,” says Anthony Smith, a recent graduate of Central Michigan University. “It gave me the wrong idea.”

This isn’t to say that you should avert a guy’s gaze at all costs, just don’t ogle him incessantly. Staring at him will make him think you want him. You gape at Channing Tatum during Magic Mike, so why wouldn’t he think that? Don’t give him the flirty eye (you know what look we’re talking about—that seductive, “come hither,” sexy, sleepy gaze), and try not to act overly absorbed in all he has to say.

3. You Laugh at Everything He Says


Oh man, this dude is too funny! We all have that guy pal who needs to go into stand-up comedy ASAP. You may not know, though, that laughing a little too hard at his jokes could send him the wrong message.

“Laughing at a lot of things I say is definitely a way girls have led me on before,” says Ben Lambert, a junior at Michigan State University.

Even if he’s hilarious, you might give a guy the wrong idea if you can’t stop ROFL-ing when he’s around. If dating this dude is not on your mind, try to tone down the cute giggling a bit. After all, laughing at a guy’s jokes will give him a serious ego boost: he’s naturally going to think you’re into him if you’re into his puns.

4. You Always Initiate Conversation and Hanging Out


Asking if he wants to catch up on the latest Will Smith action flick is fine, friendly thing to do, but when you’re always the one to ask? He may jump to conclusions.

“She would always text me first,” says Ryan Swindlehurst, a junior at Central Michigan University of a girl he thought was into him. “One day, it just stopped.”

Texting a guy pal is totally normal, but constantly being the first to do so may give him the impression that you want to take it to the next level. Don’t make the first move every time—if you’re the one always asking to chill, take a break! If he’s as into the friendship as you are, he’ll take turns with you.

5. You Dance With Him for too Many Songs


You’re on the dance floor, and man, are you on fire! Plus, you’ve found a great guy to stomp to the beats with. Just remember that if you’ve dubbed him your permanent dance partner, he’s probably going to think you want him.

“She’d dance with me all night,” says Vernon Benjamin, a junior at Central Michigan University of a collegiette who led him on. “[I got] her number, she’d text me and then all of a sudden she’d stop.”

We all know how fun dancing with a dude is. But make sure you don’t do it too much when his heart’s on the line. Dancing with him for jam after jam just makes him think that you’re interested, especially when slow songs are included in the mix. Collegiettes, be sure to make the rounds! There are plenty of dance partners out there.

 

Having a guy friend is fabulous, but ladies, it’s important not to forget that you’re a dime and he’s human. Avoid these five moves like the plague—you don’t want him thinking you’re interested if you’re totally not. Most of us have experienced the short end of the stick (ugh! Guys have such issues committing), and it’s certainly not warm and fuzzy. So once in a while, take a minute to reflect on how you’ve been treating your male companion. After all, accidentally sending sexy signs could ruin your friendship.

Ashley McDonald is a senior at Central Michigan University, majoring in journalism and minoring in English. In addition to her role as career editor for HerCampus.com, she's a blogger for The Huffington Post and a contributing writer for HelloGiggles.com, EliteDaily.com and About.comIf she's not doing all of the basic things that life requires, she's probably on Microsoft Word or flipping through a glossy women's magazine. Or YouTubing (is that a recognized verb yet?) videos of French Bulldog puppies. Or possibly shoveling mint chocolate chip ice cream into her mouth while watching reruns of Sex and the City. She leads a glamorous life.If you'd like to know more (you totally do!), follow her on Twitter @ashley_pmcd.
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