Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
Wellness > Sex + Relationships

18 College Women Get Real About Sex On the First ‘Date’

How do collegiettes feel about sex on the first “date”? We asked 18 college women to tell us their thoughts — read what they think below!


“Absolutely not! If I’m just getting to know a person, I’m not going to hookup with some random stranger. I had a guy try that and I’m glad I didn’t. He slept with some other girl a few weeks before and it turned out he had an STD. Glad I avoided that!”

-Leah, Auburn University Class of 2016

“I didn’t lose my virginity until college, and I have since believed that hookups are healthy if they make me happy and that I will only be more prepared and experienced in my serious relationships. I have tended to avoid having sex the first time I hookup with someone, but it has happened a couple times, and although I have not regretted any, I crave for relationships more and more.”

-Maddie, Johns Hopkins University Class of 2019

“I haven’t had sex the first time I hooked up/met with somebody, but that doesn’t mean I never will. I’m a big fan of safe sex, though, so I’d have to have enough knowledge about my partner’s sexual history to feel comfortable, and I would offer him the same information about me.”

-Liv, University of North Carolina Wilmington Class of 2018

RELATED: 13 College Women Get Real About Their Sexual Histories

“I lost my virginity to someone I matched with the day before on Tinder, and it was a wonderful experience. He’s now my friend with benefits. If there’s a connection, I say go for it! Why stop yourself from doing something that you want to do (and is safe!) just because society says you shouldn’t t do it?”

-Caroline, Towson University Class of 2019

“Call me old fashioned, but I’m not a fan of it. Don’t get me wrong, I think that all women should be able to do whatever they feel comfortable doing. However, for me, I’m not comfortable with that personally. I want to get to know someone before getting intimate. I believe the sex that is the most worthwhile is the sex that is waited for, built up to. I don’t mind kissing on the first date but I want to know there is mutual respect between us before going further. Plus, after only one meeting/date you don’t know that person’s sexual health status (you might not know that for a while to be honest) and that’s one risk I, personally, am not willing to take.”

-Vicki, Siena College Class of 2017

“I feel like having sex the first time you meet someone sets you up for ‘disaster.’ Personally, I have had sex the first time and the guy tends to look at you differently. We as women shouldn’t be getting a guy to like us by giving away our body right away.”

-Lynn, Seton Hall University Class of 2016

“I feel like it depends on the person and what your expectations are for the relationship. If you know you’re in it for a fling, go for it. If you’re thinking you’d like to be with this person for the long haul, maybe still go for it! It’s common knowledge that millennials want everything NOW. If you feel comfortable with it, don’t let society’s ‘norms’ make you feel ashamed of your decision.”

-Ellen, Kent State University Class of 2017

RELATED: The Truth About Your ‘Number’

“Having grown up in a Catholic family and attended a Catholic grade school and a private high school, I’ve developed strong values and moral standards for myself. Upon entering college I set a code for myself, I decided that if I came to a point that I could see myself settling down with someone then I could have sex with them or spend the night with them because that’s how it would be, that’s real, that’s life. I find the idea of sex after just meeting someone, after a first date, or even after a month repulsive; build up a true relationship with another person before taking that meaningful step.”

-Lauren, Xavier University Class of 2019

“I think having sex with someone the first time you meet them is crazy unsafe. It’s okay if you do it once or twice in your life but I think girls who make a habit of it are really insecure about themselves. These girls are usually looking for attention, and they secretly long for a boyfriend but you’re just not going to get one by being easy.”

-Anna, Pace University Class of 2017

“I think it is fine. I can enjoy sex as much as anyone else, and should not feel ashamed I simply did what I wanted to. My current boyfriend and I had sex the first time we meet. A year later, and we are still going very strong.”

-Sarah, Winona State University Class of 2016

“I think that if you have sex the first time you meet someone, it sets the tone for the future of the relationship that you two will have. I think that sex on the first date screams ‘I’m just looking for a hookup and don’t want anything serious.’”

-Rachel, University of Florida Class of 2017

“Personally, having sex on the first date is something I would never do, just because for me sex is something that comes with a committed relationship. However, I think that people who want to have sex on the first ‘date’ or just have a string of hookups shouldn’t be judged for that. Sex is different for all of us and it means different things.”

-Katie, The University of Alabama Class of 2017

RELATED: The Truth About Virginity in College

“I feel fine about it, except the sex usually isn’t that enjoyable, because there is no real connection. I’ve also learned the hard way what I probably should have known all along: not to expect anything to come out of a hookup.”

-Anna, UCLA Class of 2016

“I have done it and I regret it.”

-April, Waseda University Class of 2017

“Why not? It’s not like you got married. It’s just a fun way to end the date. But always use protection; you never know if that person has an STD.”

-Beth, University of Puerto Rico Class of 2019

“I have mixed feelings about this. It’s difficult for me because of my upbringing, but it is understandable in college and the adult world, especially since many of these dates and relationships are based on attraction versus the understanding and expectation of forever. These relationships are in the now, fun, and part of the allure for many is the unknown, the spontaneity of it. The not knowing and unplanned future coincides with how every college kid feels on a daily basis. There is a kind of beauty in that. Being in a committed relationship, as I am, in college starts more than not with an overnight (mine didn’t involve sex) and that’s ok. It’s a sure sign of growing up and embracing the change and instability of life.”

-Ness, Christopher Newport University Class of 2019

“Part of me wants to be ‘morally sound’ and say that you shouldn’t sleep with someone the first time you meet them — but with this generation sometimes the first time you ‘meet’ someone isn’t REALLY the first time you meet them being that we have Facetime and other technology. If you’re comfortable with the person, go for it.”

-Carolyn, Clemson University Class of 2018

“I’m not sure how comfortable I would feel having sex the first time I meet someone, but I can see how it could happen. Honestly, I think it says nothing about your moral compass or character when you decide to have sex. As long as there is consent, I could honestly care less if someone decides to have sex on the first date or on the wedding night.”

-Sid, Christopher Newport University Class of 2017

Cara Sprunk has been the Managing Editor of Her Campus since fall 2009. She is a 2010 graduate of Cornell University where she majored in American Studies with a concentration in cultural studies. At Cornell Cara served as the Assistant Editor of Red Letter Daze, the weekend supplement to the Cornell Daily Sun where she also wrote for the news and arts section and blogged about pop culture. In her free time Cara enjoys reading, shopping, going to the movies, exploring and writing.