If you thought high-fashion Birkenstocks were different, just wait until you see the new resort shoe collection from Loewe—the fashion house Loewe, not the hardware store Lowe’s (though TBH, you could probably find cuter shoes at a hardware store).
Anyway, make sure you’re sitting down for this. According to Vogue, the shoes are a total must-wear this season. According to literally anyone with eyes, please think again. Instead of just wearing normal sandals (boring!), shove your feet into leather molds of some random person’s toes, complete with toe rings. Don’t believe me that these are an actual thing? Here you go:
If those black leather monsters aren’t your style and you’re looking for something a little more boho-chic, check out this equally fashionable second option (also from Loewe!)
Unlike the leather ones, these are crocheted and not only feature human shaped toes, but also 3D toe rings! They remind me of the little clip-on decorations everyone attached to their Crocs in 2006, but way more ~realistic~. If I took a knitting class and made those shoes, I’d definitely quit knitting and, like, go to confession.