Why It's Okay To Have a Type

Just like you probably bee-line towards a certain jean style that you already know will fit perfectly, you def have certain preferences when it comes to dating. Whether you’re into that whole man-bun/yogi/kombucha situation, more of a finance bro type of girl, or like a little more excitement, having a type is unavoidable. Like, it’s not that you wouldn’t try on a pair of culottes, but you could never see yourself actually buying them. Skinny jeans and cropped flares are just so cute and practical. Why overcomplicate things?  But sometimes it can seem like your entire squad is on your case about all your love interests being super similar. Getting judged for having a “type” is right up there with being asked why you don’t have a SO for collegiettes––why can’t people mind their own business and stop judging? Like, you’re probably not deeply offended about them roasting you at brunch about how well your exes would get along, but sometimes it might feel like you need a reminder that it’s okay to date similar people. So, here’s why it’s totally okay to have a “type.”  

It’s not superficial.  

The number one criticism you probably face about having a “type” is that it’s superficial. Spoiler alert: That is such fake news! Allie, a Columbia University sophomore, says, “For me, having a type doesn’t relate to physical appearance. My type is someone ambitious, interesting, and spontaneous––whether he has blue eyes or brown doesn’t matter to me.” Having a “type” truly isn’t skin deep. It’s not about intentionally only dating people who wear glasses or bench press twice your body weight. Contrary to popular belief, most girls’ “types” really do come down to what’s on the inside.   
“I could never date someone without the same goals,” says Emily, a freshman at Edinburgh University, “My type mostly comes down to personality.”  So, if all your exes look a little similar? It’s probably because of the personality traits they share influencing their looks: from the way they dress to their level of ambition. Are they disciplined enough to make it to the gym every day? Do they have a great creative eye that lends itself to flawless #OOTD’s? It might be impossible to ignore the physical similarities that make your “type” easy to identify, but as long as you’re genuinely attracted to the personality beneath them, you can brush off those “superficial” accusations.   

Related: How to Deal When Your Best Friend is Dating Someone You Hate

It makes dating so much easier.  

On the flip side, having a “type” does make it way easier to make quick, split-second judgments about whether or not you’d get along with someone in a relationship. Instead of wasting your time on tons of random dates that go nowhere, you can usually tell if you’re into someone within a few minutes of meeting them. If you’re more of a dating app kind of girl? Your friends are probably shook at how quickly you can swipe left––and right. Trying to meet someone on a night out with your squad? Find out what sort of crowd can be found at the bar or club you’re headed to, and you’re way more likely to meet someone with major relationship potential if you choose wisely.  

Related: This Dating App Sets You Up With People Who Hates the Same Stuff as You

It’s actually unavoidable. 

Face it, you probably didn’t really figure out your “type” until you actually started dating people, and there’s a reason for that. No matter who your middle school crush was, or if you went through a phase in high school where you thought you would only date sensitive artists, your “type” might be completely different than what your thirteen-year-old self daydreamed about. Daniela, a freshman at Georgetown University, thinks it really is an unconscious process. “For me, having a type isn’t something I look for but it’s something that all the boys I like have in common,” she said. Having a “type” can’t be forced, and as much as you might think you’re into a certain kind of person, take a look at your dating roster. You might surprise yourself.  

It means you have strong values.   

Some people may say that having a “type” makes you close-minded, but it actually says something really different about your personality: that you have strong values. You have defined opinions about what’s right and wrong, and you’re not going to let anyone sway you anytime soon. Okay, some people may say that being stubborn isn’t a fantastic trait, but think of it as a strength. Take a second look at your “type,” and what attracts you to them, and then think about what you feel strongly about. There’s probably plenty of overlap. Not sure about this one? Ask someone you’re into, even just a friend with benefits about what they care about. (Other than you, obviously.) You might learn something about yourself.  

There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want. 

Tbh, having a “type” comes down to being a strong, independent collegiette who just knows what she wants! And who has ever said being decisive is a bad thing? Autumn, a recent graduate of Emmanuel College, is so confident about her “type” that her squad could spot a guy for her from a mile away. “My friends can easily recognize when I’d be into a person, based on looks usually. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a type, especially when it comes to physical attraction. You know what you like, so why not seek that out?” Kait, a Butler University junior, agrees. “You like what you like,” she says.  It’s true––only you really know what you want, and you shouldn’t let anyone guilt you into “branching out” by going out with someone you’re not comfortable with. If you have zero interest in a certain type of guy, there’s probably a good reason for that, and it’s def way deeper than, like, hair color.