December is upon us. The leaves have all descended from the trees, the winds of winter are forcing their way through our coats and hats, and Christmas music is being played everywhere we go. ’Tis the season, indeed. Maybe it’s a bit too soon to begin reflecting on the year as a whole, but as finals come barreling at us at full force with whispers of snow and a new year on the horizon, I can’t help but reflect.
Everyone has years or periods in their life where everything went wrong, where it was simply a painful year. For me, 2015 was that year. I am no stranger to hurt and betrayal, but this year took me on one of the bumpiest roads I had been on. The question that followed me throughout the entire year was: what do you do when the people you were supposed to trust hurt you in unimaginable ways?
There’s something a hero of mine always says: people need other people. I never truly understood the idea of relying on other people until 2015 sent me on the ride that it did.
The interesting thing is, when so many of my relationships deteriorated, other ones were strengthened, or new ones were formed. I needed those people. Each one of them helped me walk through all the bad and celebrate the good.
2015 taught me that it’s okay to ask for help. Asking for help when you are hurting or struggling or falling apart is not shameful or weak. Help is around you. Help is real.
2015 also taught me that forgiveness is not weakness. You can forgive, but not forget. I like to think I am on the path to forgiving those who created pain and turmoil in my life; the woman who made my summer a living hell, the boy who shattered my dreams, the friends who left. Forgiveness is possible. It is not easy, but there’s a sense of peace in not being angry anymore. There’s peace in knowing I am not alone, and despite these losses, I still have a large number of friends who have been there to support and walk with me. People need other people. I need them, and in turn, they too need other people.
I’ve always hated needing other people. I always felt weak because there were some things I could not do alone, some dark places I could not pull myself out of alone. But that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to need other people, to need community. Life is hard, and other people will tell us that we are lesser people if we need or rely on others. People may leave, and others may tell us that we are a burden to others if we need other people. But we were never meant to do this alone. We need other people to remind us of what it means to be alive, to be hopeful, to live. Yes, people need other people. It is one of the most beautiful things about the human experience.