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Sex + Relationships

‘Tis The Season To Online Date

‘Tis the month of November, and while some may know it for it’s Movember movement, some of us definitely know it as “cuffing season.” The deadline is coming soon, especially if you’re single. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, ‘cuffing season’ is the season where you “handcuff” someone to be your partner because it’s the season to have someone by your side. We know Christmas is coming soon, and most of us want to have a partner to be cozy with starting from the first day of snow “kinda thing you know”. It shouldn’t be too much to ask for this Christmas, right? Well, you know sometimes it is harder than you assume. It’s just so hard to find people in real life nowadays where so many of our interactions happen online and we are so comfortable expressing ourselves through online platforms. Sometimes, we forget how to approach people offline! Thus, people are finding their mates through dating apps more than ever now and it’s not as weird as it once was.

Photo by rawpixel 

For the portion of you who have always been hesitant to try dating apps for various reasons, this article is for you! I will tell you my own experiences regarding dating apps and you might learn that it’s not actually as bad as you might have in your wild imagination.

Someone who is trying out dating apps for the first time would probably go for an app like Tinder, but I suggest you don’t start there. I myself have never used Tinder because it is mostly used for hookups or casual relationships, and if you’re lucky you might just find the one like a couple of my friends did. I would not mind giving it a try of course before making my own conclusions about it. Sometimes it depends purely on luck, however, I would suggest trying out POF, Bumble or OkCupid as a first time experience,  so you don’t find uncensored and unwanted pictures in your face. These apps are fairly safe and I have met some decent people through them. I have not had any weird or creepy experiences at all so far which I am amazed by because I’ve heard so many horror stories online. I was hesitant for the longest time before giving it a try myself, but after seeing so many friends of mine try it and encourage me to try it myself, I finally gave it a go. Some of the reasons why I was hesitant at first was due to safety reasons, like how the other person might view me. I might not meet their expectations in real life or something could go terribly wrong when we meet. Not only was I afraid that the person might turn out to be a catfish or a creep, but I was also not confident enough in myself to meet the person in real life in case I was not what they expected at all.

Photo by Giulia Bertelli

If you also relate to some of my issues, then let me tell you, I have learned that confidence is key. I gained that confidence when I grew myself as a person, got a bit older and held various conversations online to really know what it’s about. After you gain some knowledge on what people are like online, you might just become the guru of dating apps and learn how to weed out options and who to actually meet in real life. Don’t be worried about if they might not like you in person because more often than not, they will like you if they held out a conversation with you online for a good amount of time. Plus, you will never know if you never try meeting them in person! I suggest you stop overthinking when you are online dating, find someone you “click” with, talk to them for at least a week or two to get an idea of who and how they are so you realize it is safe to meet them in person. I believe the reason why I did not meet any creeps or have a terrible experience as of yet (let’s not jinx it though) is because I am very picky and I will not meet someone unless I for sure know they are safe, and a nice person to hang out with. Having them on Instagram or snapchat definitely helps, so you have a glimpse of their daily lives, and because when they snap you or post stories, you can tell a lot about them. You can even try facetiming them or calling them on the phone if you want before meeting them, which may take some of the anxiety you may feel. I know it is very difficult when it’s your first time meeting someone through dating apps, but trust me, the first time is the hardest and then you slowly become more confident. You will gain experience meeting strangers and trying to connect with them in real life and I think it’s even a great skill to have for whichever career path you may be taking.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema

So there you go, killing two birds with one stone! Just make sure to be yourself on your dating profile. Show your authentic self if you want to attract the authentic people that are meant for you. Be clear of what you’re looking for by stating it in your bio or telling the other person so both of you don’t waste time talking to each other only to find out you were looking for something casual while they wanted to settle down. Remember, it is nothing to be embarrassed about, because most people are on those apps anyway and it is such a normal practice at this point. It’s like making friends on Facebook or following someone on Instagram. You are just taking control of your love life and you will try to find someone that matches with you online, no different than trying to find a guy offline at a bar. So, if you want to try something new, and find a partner to “cuff” this season, this is your sign. Go for it! Give it a shot because there’s no harm in trying right? Follow some of my advice and you should be good to go!


Nabilah is in her 4th year studying Human Resource Management (Hons.). She loves writing as a way to express herself and has a great passion for travelling, trying out new food, dancing, and exploring new fashion. She is currently the VP of Events at HRSA YorkU & a Global Ambassador at York International. Topics relating to travelling to new destinations, health/fitness, skincare, beauty or fashion greatly interests her and Nabilah loves that she is able to share her ideas and experiences through HerCampus.
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