The famous fishing pictures, the headless abs photos, and the “which one are they in the group” picture all have one thing in common: online dating. Yes, there is a strong stigma when it comes to online dating, but honestly, it’s the 21st century! Meeting people in real life, especially during a pandemic is rare and even more unbelievable than meeting someone online. So, what’s the harm in it? Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Is it safe? How do I know I’m not going to get cat fished? Or worse, possibly meet a psychopath?
Well, I can’t promise you that everyone on these apps are real and would never intentionally hurt someone because that’s just how the world is unfortunately. But luckily for me and a lot of my friends, we’ve never been in those scary situations. A lot of my friends, including myself, have had pretty successful relationships from these dating apps.
My ex-boyfriend and I met on Tinder and had the most beautiful and wonderful 5-year relationship until we didn’t. So, the idea of dating apps just being about meeting people to hook up is not always the case. Yes, there are some people who have the intention of meeting once and never speaking again, which is not a bad thing. But there are people looking to meet and get to know others, and genuinely looking for a connection.
Before my ex, I had never had dating experience. He was the first guy I ever met online, and I thought he was going to be my first and last, but I guess the universe had different plans for me. I wanted to experience “dating culture” and learn more about what else there was out there. I felt like I was missing out which is why after we ended, I decided to try dating once again. The summer of 2021 was my “hot girl summer”. Everyone was getting vaccinated and the world was starting to become normal again, so I decided to put myself out there and see what I was missing.
My two most important tips that helped me during this time were:
First, always keep your guard up! Don’t get too washed up in what some people will say to you. It’s easy to lose yourself in nice words and empty promises. But trust me, some people know how to talk. Don’t ever give personal information or anything you wouldn’t want your parents to hear about. For me, I would never give out my number on these dating apps. Mainly because I was afraid that I would get calls or even be tracked down. Another reason is because I hate telemarketers and I never know if someone is going to give out my number without my permission.
Second, and I think it’s probably my most important tip is know your worth! Validation and attention from these apps will sometimes brainwash you into forgetting yourself. I think if you aren’t 100% comfortable in who you are and what you want, online dating isn’t the right thing for you right now.
One of the biggest worries I had when I first started trying out these apps years ago was, “what if they’re disappointed when they meet me?” That should never be the case. What helped me get through the first few dates and meet ups this year was I would look at myself in the mirror before meeting my date and I would tell myself, “it doesn’t matter if they like you, it matters if you like them.
It doesn’t matter if they’re having a good time, it matters if you are.” Just reminding myself these things helped me become more confident, and honestly more attractive to guys I was meeting. Because in the end, I wasn’t worried about pleasing them, I was just being myself and if they liked me then that’s great, if they didn’t it’s not my problem at the end of the day, it’s theirs.
In conclusion, I don’t think it’s wrong to meet people online. We’re growing in such a digital world where everything is literally on our phones. I find that communicating and meeting people is a bit easier, for myself, through these dating apps. Whether or not you feel the same way is up to you. I find that I’m having a fun time meeting up and learning what I like and what I don’t.
I find that every experience is a learning experience, which is what I really want out of these apps. Sometimes it’s an amazing experience and others I laugh about with my friends. All in all, be safe and be smart, know what you want and love who you are!