This topic may trigger some as there will be some small talk about my own mental health on this journey, along with family topics, and immigration. Be mindful when reading, and remember I am a bit older than my peers in Her Campus and this is all my personal experience, and by no means am I telling you any expert advice about mental health. Not everyone’s pathways are the same and there is nothing to be ashamed of even if you decide the route I’ve taken for myself isn’t the route you’d like to take for yourself and your future. But like the Abba song said “Take a chance on me”, and I did with my future, or my current now.
I’ve always known teens have difficulty trying to figure their futures out, it can be quite confusing. The thing I realise now, as an adult who’s much older than their peers, is that a lot of us are forced into our parent’s dreams, rather than what we wanted for our future. As an immigrant, it does tend to be more prominent that our parents want the best for us, in a sense where they’ll also try to live their dreams through you. A lot of the time it isn’t meant to be seen as a bad thing, as they just want the best out of you and they make enough money for a living, especially if you live or plan to live in the GTA. The majority of the time, it’s not made in a malicious intended way. This doesn’t prevent the desire, like mine, of changing your future, your majors, your whole life basically despite all the support your parents have given you to pursue the dreams they set upon for you in your mid 20’s.
It was very difficult for me in my early twenties, I was diagnosis with C-PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, severe Generalized Anxiety disorder, Schizoaffective Disorder, and ADHD, so trying to figure things out from there was hard. The Generalized Anxiety disorder and the Major Depressive disorder were from my parents pushing me much too hard into the future my mother has wanted for herself. I had always craved approval from my parents as I constantly felt like a black sheep due to the blossoming Schizoaffective disorder. I decided “I will become what my mother wanted to be”, setting out on a journey full of anxiety and depression to prove to my parents that I am worthy of their praise.
I recently broke free from that mentality, and I’m trying to grow into the person I needed as a teenager, currently in the process of getting out of academic probation and transferring into a visual arts program for next year. So let’s just say, it’s been difficult, to say the least, to get my parents on board with this major change in my life, especially after two tries in different academic pursuits; nursing and psychology. Two very different careers from my current goal, and after being diagnosed with ADHD and Schizoaffective disorder they weren’t even sure if it was possible for me. But I’ve always been told I’m creative, talented and extraordinarily have an eye for shifting things into different perspectives.
With this knowledge about myself I looked into a lot of things at York University to find out where exactly I could fit myself academically. I decided to take a chance and see if I could have the opportunity to switch over programs at York. While you see, I am in the midst of doing so, I feel much better about where I’m going and that my peers understand that when they get to know me there is much more to school, but to enjoy school as well. I’m on medication, prescribed of course now which does help a lot when it comes to the symptoms I had been having in the previous programs I’ve been in, so that does help quite a lot.
Nonetheless breaking from the stigma my parents had created for their children was hard. I’ve worked very hard from where I’ve originally been; from the goofy kid who went undiagnosed, that was so anxious and depressed, that couldn’t eat from it, to someone who’s healthy, medicated, and can finally breathe and expect good things out of the future. My next step you might be asking, is getting my autism diagnosis to the school and working on my portfolio for school. It’s hard work trying to be well rounded, but I’m getting there even if I’m not perfectly rounded. A n octagon of a person is good enough for me and my needs right now.
A few things you’d need to know about shifting academic futures is: not everyone’s going to support you. you are your own person, learn to enjoy your studies, stick it out on the challenging stuff, and it’s all worth it in the end. Yes, sometimes it does mean moving out and leaving the family you didn’t want to leave behind. You need to learn to be independent, and if that means leaving them behind, so be it. Learn to enjoy what you’re studying, and if you’re not, is it really worth it? When I say stick it out on the hard stuff, I don’t just mean the studies, but a lot of people do go through a lot mentally; try reaching out to friends, professors, anyone. I’ve lost way too many friends because I was struggling with my mental health, because not everyone can stick it through their hard stuff, but just know it’ll always be worth it in the end.
Anyways I hope you enjoyed the little things I’ve learned on my journey over the past 8, soon to be 9 years about who I am and where I’m going with my future. Enjoy yourself, and your future too. Parents aren’t always right, even if they just want the best for you.