Time is flying! The first month of the New Year is almost over and if you’ve been as busy as I have, you haven’t had a second to relax. I thought I’d reflect on the past year since it sped by, and the New Year approached so quickly, I didn’t even get a chance to truly appreciate everything that 2015 brought to me. I’ve been thinking long and hard about my resolutions for 2016, and even though going to the gym and drinking more water are great goals for the New Year, I thought I’d lay down some advice and reminders to think about this year. With every New Year comes new knowledge and experiences, here are a few random things to remember along the way.
1. Teach people how to treat you: No matter what, you are deserving of respect and respect shouldn’t have to be earned, it is your right. If you are being mistreated or disrespected, you’ll have to look at what you’re allowing and you need to teach them not to cross your boundaries. Have no tolerance for disrespect and stand up for yourself always. Don’t accept anything less. Let any friendships or relationships that weren’t built on mutual respect last year go and make sure you surround yourselves with people who appreciate the person you are this year.
2. Don’t minimize others’ accomplishments: I truly believe that there is enough success to fairly be distributed and that everyone will eventually be rewarded for their hard work. There’s really no need for competition with those around you when it comes to being successful. Everyone has unique personal goals that they are trying to achieve. Everyone has their own path. Please don’t make another person feel as though they didn’t earn what they have, even if you find yourself thinking that way. Be happy for others. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Congratulate your friends and loved ones on their success and surround yourself with people who do the same for you. Focus on yourself and your goals but don’t get too wrapped up in them that you forget to encourage others as well. Jealousy is human but it can be venomous to your health and overall happiness. Trust that everyone eventually gets what they deserve.
3. When people show you who they are, believe them: I’ve learned that there is really no such thing as a “deep down.” What I mean by that is, when people reveal themselves, you shouldn’t try to justify their behaviour by saying that you know they’re a kind person “deep down.” A deep down doesn’t exist to me. Kindness is not something you should be keeping “deep down.” If someone does something wrong and knows its wrong, they should be held to that. Doing something regardless of knowing it’s the wrong thing to do while perceptibly knowing what’s right, still makes it wrong. That being said, I also learned that not all bad people are completely or necessarily “bad” and vice versa. I don’t think anyone can be defined as fully good or bad since everyone makes mistakes, and I believe forgiveness is better for your own well being. It’s in your best interest to be critical of the people in your life. I tend to put more importance on people’s actions rather than their words however, I know what people say can be genuine as long as those words are followed up with genuine actions. Even though it might be difficult, don’t excuse people’s bad actions so easily or be too influenced by their words following such actions.
4. Always question everything: Question what you hear, question what your family and friends say, and definitely question what the media feeds you. Even if you’re brought up to believe something is true or right, that doesn’t mean that necessarily is. There comes a time where you have to grow separately from your surroundings and allow yourself to grow and think on your own. That’s one thing I’ve continuously learned over the years. Having a mind of your own and not just being blindly influenced by what others tell you, is so important. Being open minded and listening to other people’s point of view, while still questioning what people say, is the best way to learn. Learn from every perspective. You can’t just believe in something because you were taught to do so or because someone is telling you that you should. If you ever need to stand up for your beliefs you should be able to stand up and explain yourself and your choices. Thinking for yourself is so important. I have also realized that there is no person that you can’t learn something from. Everyone has a story and an opinion. Even someone who hasn’t had a day of education in their life has something to say. You should listen to everyone to gain the knowledge you need to defend your beliefs and expand your knowledge. Education isn’t just limited to school.
5. Learn how to help yourself by asking for help: Don’t feel like you have to live with pain or discomfort to not burden anyone else. There is no shame in asking for help sometimes. I believe there is more strength in people who can realize and admit that they need assistance than those who refuse to let people help them because they think it means they are weak. Asking for help is a form of helping yourself.
6. Cherish every moment: Nothing lasts forever. That’s something I think about a lot and it’s one of the only things in life that are certain. Time goes by so fast so cherish the moments that you are alive. Remember the good moments. Soak into them and live in those moments, because they wont last forever. Also remember that the bad times don’t last forever either. Memorize them too. Know that time will pass and change you, and there is nothing you can do about that. Don’t let it make you bitter, don’t get too used to something that’s susceptible to change, just try and savor the good memories and remember that when you’re having a bad time, it will only be a memory one day. Either way all experiences help you grow.
7. Try not to stress out so much: I’m learning a little more everyday to let go of what I can’t control, and although that’s mostly easier said than done, you have to just find a way to stop worrying about what you don’t control. Take care of yourself. Find a way to relieve your stress that works for you this year. Remember we can only deal with the moment in front of us and do what we can to make the next moment better. Stressing about the future, in my experience, is so counterproductive. There’s so much pressure to make every day count by doing something amazing, but don’t worry if this wasn’t the best year of your life and if you didn’t accomplish everything you set out to, you always have this year!