Letting Summer Love Go

In my opinion, the most beautiful thing about summer is relaxing, unwinding, and feeling free to have as much fun as humanly possible. It’s extremely rejuvenating to feel the freedom that summer can allow. It’s not always the case that summer is entirely freeing, as many people have big plans for working, traveling or even studying throughout this time. I had the luxury of enjoying my summer with a partner who appreciated making the most of that time as much as I did. We had met during the school year, but were both dedicated to our studies so we didn’t really have much time to spend together. When the school year was finally nearing an end, we had many plans for what we would do throughout the summer. We had an ongoing list that we were constantly adding to.

Photo by Clarisse Meyer

He and I experienced many exciting events together. To name a few, we went to a lavender farm, rode the newest rides at Canada’s Wonderland, and went on a wine tasting bike tour at Niagara-on-the-Lake. We even went to his good friend’s wedding that took place on a farm, had lovely dinners with his family, and spent days outside on nature walks. It was incredible in every way, and it felt like I was literally living a fairytale life. I felt so content and uplifted being with him, like I had figured everything out and knew exactly what I wanted for the rest of my life. We thought we could make these heartwarming and exhilarating experiences last forever. All of these magical experiences seemed like they would never come to an end.

Photo by Alex Iby

With all the freedom that summer brings, I found sadness slowly creeping in as I was nearing the finale. I knew that it wasn’t possible for all of these experiences to last forever, so I was in the position of needing to figure out what would be best for my life moving forward. Knowing I would be starting school shortly and that my studies would be highly demanding of my time, I came to the conclusion that I should probably end my summer romance. Reality hit me as I realized there were many aspects in life that we just could not agree on. We were really good at having fun together, but figuring things out and coinciding our directions for life seemed to be an issue. Things seemed to be getting more difficult between us as we began preparing for going back to school. As I am entering the last year of my undergrad, I acknowledge that dedicating my time efficiently to the priorities of my life is essential to move forward in my academic career. The added pressure of a relationship in addition to my commitments just didn’t seem manageable for me. A gloomy realization I had was that the wonderful summer experiences were meant to solely be a part of my summer and could not persist with my life in the direction I have planned for myself. 

It certainly takes a level of maturity and commitment to make this decision and release the attachment I was forming to the partner I had loved in the summer. The lively summer that we created for ourselves was pure, innocent and youthful. As I progress through the final year of my degree, there is a level of dedication, persistence and focus required of me. As I decided things would be best for us both if we detached, I learned that he did not feel the same way. It was very difficult to get on the same page about this call that I was about to make. Uncertainty came creeping in and I too wanted our summer romance to persist for as long as it could. Seeing that I was an independent person before we had come together, I accepted that I could be on my own again. On my own I can still find happiness and engage in more activities that coincide with school life and still allow myself to feel free and have fun.

Photo by Ryan Moreno 

I am learning to find a sense of freedom as the school year begins. I can prioritize unwinding and relaxing to ensure that my studies don’t completely drain me. I can still create moments of carefree living, like I was able to experience during summer, while I progress through my program. I am grateful that I had someone to share my summer experiences with, but recognizing that I can feel uplifted and free on my own too is the most liberating and heartwarming feeling of all. I thoroughly believe that this individualized path is worth exploring as I move forward with learning at this point in my life.