Twenty minutes passed and I was mid-cry when a lady touched my shoulder and asked if I was okay. I sobbed “yes” and she softened and hugged me.
The first thing I noticed about her, was the way her eyes seemed so heavy. She had seen a lot in her life and my guesses were confirmed when she told me that she too, comes to this beach in order to relieve her sorrows, so I should just tell her what’s bothering me.
“Dil halka hojata hai” (the heart softens) she said; if you share your worries with another.
“I miss my parents” I lied, not wanting to open myself up. I regret lying to her, there was so much genuineness and so much sincerity about her, but I felt too raw, too exposed to talk to her about what was really going on. She tutted, sighed and sat down beside me.
“Where are you from?”, “where are your parents?”, “are you alone here?” the stream of questions begun as she tried to make sense of why I was sat here crying. I answered each one in between sniffs. I looked over to my spouse further down; a mere dot. His shirt a tiny, white pin point in the horizon. She was looking at me with motherly affection as she told me the story of how she too, is here today because she misses her parents and her older sister who passed away.
“The pain never stops. I miss them more and more but, as time goes by you get used to the pain. It becomes a part of you”. She was right. As we all get older and time goes by, we all just get used to being hurt. We are suspicious of well-meaning souls because one time or another there was someone who made us that way.
Whatever happened to our childlike friendliness? There must have been one incident in our past which made us realize that the world will take earnestness for granted. There must have been something that made us so sad that our whole outlook on life changed. We no longer viewed the world with our rose-tinted, childish glasses anymore.
But I guess that’s just life. That’s just how it has to be. We absolutely must look at our past experiences and use them, just like the kind-hearted lady at the beach did. She saw I was upset and she used her experiences to empathize with me. She could have just ignored me. She could have moved on with her life and gone home. But she didn’t. She stayed and she spoke with me and watched over me from her car until she saw that I was safe with my spouse.
Embrace your sadness, embrace every single nook, cranny, and scar, that makes you, you. Even the most beautiful marble sculptures have cracks here and there that make them truly unique. I wholly wish I had the pleasure of at least getting that sweet soul’s name. but I didn’t. But wherever she is, I hope she will find peace in her kind attitude and the beautiful memories of her dearest ones.
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