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The Fault in Our Friendships

 

“The friends you make in college are the friends you’ll have for life.”

I know we have all heard this quote, or a version of it, at least once or twice before college (maybe while you’re still attending). I certainly have and not to burst anyone’s bubble, but this isn’t always the case or necessarily true. And it’s nothing to get upset over. In the words of my mother, “Everyone is not meant to be your friend.” Being the stubborn child that I am, I had to learn this the hard way – it was a middle school experience but, luckily, I only had to get burned once.

 

As we get older, we learn that friends will come and go. That’s just how life is. I’ve broken up with friends, made some new ones, and reconnected with old ones. Personally, I’m not always a sociable person, so when I make friends, I always hope to keep them for a lifetime. But, I have no problem dropping those who don’t want the best for me or act out against me. I feel and believe that I already had my fair share of drama and don’t really want or need anymore. I can’t deal with the pettiness and drama that some people bring my table – and I do try to give them the benefit of the doubt – but, it doesn’t always work out.

 

 

 

College is supposed to be one of the greatest times of our lives – everyone can’t afford to attend – and for someone to come in and try to ruin this wonderful experience with unwanted drama, there’s really no need for them in your life. This isn’t to be mean, so don’t think this is an article about learning how to ignore or exact revenge on someone because it’s not! I understand that we all want friends. It’s human nature.

What I’m trying to point out is that everyone isn’t meant to stay in our lives. Some people are…others are here to help us learn an important lesson. It’s easy to get caught up with our so-called “friends” because they are fun and familiar. I went through it all and now I think I’m a little better at judging a person’s character, and overall a better person because of it. (You live and you learn, you know!)

 

I have to say, I do envy those that have a million and one friends on campus and keep them all through life, and I know that I could have the same thing – a lot of us can. I’m not shy or anything…I guess I’m just not this kind of outgoing person…at least not 100% of the time. I truly, way deep down in my heart, envy men because they could fight (physically) one day and be best friends the next. A lot of females, or at least the ones I know, could never, EVER, be this way after a simple argument. (I should know, I witnessed both situations first hand.)

We hear all those friendship songs and want the same thing: a helping hand, a shoulder to lean on, an ear lent to us just vent our feelings, etc. The best friendship song, in my opinion, was the theme song to Toy Story (don’t judge me)!

 

 

 

When a friendship ends, we have to remember to take some of the blame for what happened because it isn’t always the other person’s fault. I struggle with this myself, but in the end I realize that there are some things I could’ve done differently or better and others that are/were completely out of my control. But we can’t change the past. The only thing we can do is continue on with our lives. One of the many mottos that I live by mottos is “It takes two to tango,” which means that neither of us is 100% at fault, but that I also refuse to act as if I’m the main reason for any relationship failing.

 

I think most of us still have a lot to learn in the friendship department. You see, friendships are like flowers – they are something you have to tend to, because if you don’t, you’ll surely regret it. Another great quote I heard came from my father: “You go to school for an education. The people we meet and the friends we make are just a bonus.” This may not sound comforting and maybe even a little crazy, especially if you’re going through a tough time with friends right now (and thinking “What other reason might there be in actually showing up?”), but this advice, and that of my mother’s up top, are pure gold. In the long run, you’ll see that what you are going through is in your best interest.

So cherish the friends you make and drop the ones that hate!!!

A Senior at York College of Pennsylvania, majoring in Political Science. I am a Gemini, I love the color green, reading and writing! I am so excited to be able to write for Her Campus. I hope to inspire and/or entertain all who read my articles!
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