Cuffing season is a real thing. When the sun sets on our hazy summer nights, and leaves falling slowly turn to snow, people begin to crave relationships once again. Shorter days elevate the Melatonin levels in the brain which cause laziness and desire to lounge opposed to a readiness to going out, meeting people, and hooking up. More importantly, hormone levels–loosely correlated to light and dark–rise during colder months. People embrace the ethos of “cuffing” quickly, foolishly, full-heartedly. They change their relationship statuses; they trade in late nights for late periods. But as Spring approaches, some short-lived relationships begin to fall apart. Longer days reinspire the spotnaneous.
Navigating life during uncuffing season can be difficult, but here are some tips to tread lightly on these breaking hearts:
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Don’t ask people about their relationships – Yeah, they probably broke up. Just assume everyone is single, even if you thought their relationship was unbreakable, they probably broke up.
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Reprioritize being hot – You probably prioritize how you look after other important things. Well, don’t. Nothing else matters during un-cuffing season, so get some wet wipes and wipe your mirror and proceed to skip lecture and stare into it all day, good looking.
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Time travel – uncuffing season can be a toxic time, so to avoid it altogether, take advantage of that time you learned about relativity. Change your experience of gravity and meet up with everyone in April: the season of fools.