What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the phrase “teenage rom-com”? Perhaps a specific movie comes to mind, a classic like Mean Girls (2004), Clueless (1995), or Sixteen Candles (1984). Or maybe a specific opinion pops into your head — the thought that these movies are trashy, annoying, or maybe secretly your favorites. Regardless of how much you love to hate or hate to love teen rom-coms, unfortunately, it’s hard to get around the fact that these movies are one thing: unrealistic.
This fact may not be obvious to everyone, especially young teenagers who haven’t yet experienced high school. I remember sitting in a sixth grade classroom at my all female middle school, excited that in less than three years, I’d be in high school with the boy of my dreams. After actually attending high school, though, I realized that, not only were most of the boys at least a foot shorter than I was, but they acted nothing like the ones in the movies. Little by little, high school me began to realize that these movies did not reflect reality.
In his review of Easy A (2010) for The New York Times, Stephen Holden agrees with this sentiment. He argues that he did not think high schoolers would fully buy into the movie. He discusses its unrealistic plot, noting the fact that there is a “perfect prince” waiting for the main character. He then points out that the actors portraying high schoolers are clearly in their twenties. Even when I started to realize how unrealistic movies like Easy A were, I didn’t stop comparing my own life to their plots.
I figured that I, like the protagonists in the movies, was a relatively average high schooler, so I questioned why my life didn’t resemble those on the screen. This comparison of my life to a movie fantasy ultimately led to disappointment, as my reality never lived up to the perfectly scripted one. Viola in She’s the Man (2006) is able to dress as a boy for the entirety of the movie, reveal herself as a girl at the end, and still end up with the boy of her dreams. In addition to noting its unrealistic plot, Scott Gwin adds in his review that “watching this movie could have the same effects on the brain as sniffing glue,” implying that the movie is low quality. Again, these leading actors are most likely ten years older than them and are paid to “look hot and act stupid.”
Over time, although these movies were my go-to at every sleepover, I started to become disillusioned with them. When the movie finished, I would have a warm feeling in my heart, turning to my friend to describe how cute I found the movie and how excited I was to experience a story like the one on the screen. But when I went back to high school, and for four years, my “perfect prince” didn’t come out of the woodwork the way he did in Easy A. I began to question what the movies represented.
My dissatisfaction continued to grow as I reached the culmination of my high school social life: prom. Every teenage rom-com constructs its prom scene as the dramatic conclusion to the perfect high school experience. Although my friends and I knew at this point that the movies weren’t realistic, a lot of the prom hype permeated throughout our high school. Everyone frantically searched for a date because we thought it was crucial to find someone. It didn’t even have to be someone you necessarily liked— you just had to find boy willing to take you.
I was panicked. It felt like the scene in Mean Girls where Cady, the protagonist, compares the behavior of the kids at her high school to animals fighting each other on African plains. It seemed like every time I tried to sit down and consider my options, five possible dates had been snapped up. From what teenage rom-coms had taught me, all I had to do was sit in class and the boy I’d always been waiting for would come and find me. But my high school wasn’t the one in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999), and there was no boy willing to do whatever it took to take me to prom. Interesting.
Upon realizing that these stories are not based in reality, I was able to fully enjoy them for what they are: entertainment. They initially clouded my understanding of social dynamics. But, if I could go back ten years and tell my younger self to avoid rom-coms altogether and stick to stories completely removed from my daily reality, like Star Wars, I wouldn’t do it. I absolutely love teenage rom-coms. They held a special place in my heart when I first watched them in middle and high school, and I still love to watch them in my free time now.
Teenage rom-coms are relatable enough to be exciting, since you figure that the main character could be you in a fantasy life, so you get to try on the identity and escape into a perfect storyline. The protagonists are generally high school girls, like the movie’s viewers, who make a point to be especially relatable. Olive in Easy A directly addresses the camera, so it feels like she’s having a conversation with you. In her quips, she notes that she makes the “occasional corny knock knock joke” and that in her opinion, “there are two sides to every story” and that the movie is “[her] side, the right one,” which are comments that most teenage girls could definitely imagine themselves saying.
Once a viewer is fully immersed, he or she enjoys when the protagonist ends up in a very cliché and perfectly outlined happy ending. Teenagers watching the movie hope that in the future, they can be Elle Woods in Legally Blonde (2001), a college student who gets into a prestigious law school, is set up for an incredible career, and ends up with the man of her dreams — it’s just that easy and glamorous, right?
The second layer of appeal is the shared culture that these movies create. If you’re a teenage girl, it’s guaranteed that most others around you have watched or are at least familiar with the rom-coms that you grew up watching. All of us love to watch these movies with friends, analyzing how these high school girls act while comparing them to ourselves. Once, after getting into an argument with some of my friends in the cafeteria, one of us noted that this scene could’ve been straight out of Mean Girls. Everyone at the table laughed, not just because we were all familiar with the movie, but because our shared knowledge of the story allowed us to compare our real life to a seemingly crazy movie and laugh about it together.
Once teenagers understand how to properly react to teenage rom-coms, it’s no wonder that they become a favorite for so many. The movies may not be realistic, but they are artfully designed to emphasize the parts of teenage life that people become easily obsessed with, such as the gossip, drama, romance, and confusion that is encompassed in a typical high school experience. So, once viewed as entertainment, these stories can truly bring teenagers the excitement they are looking for when they sit down with their popcorn and a group of friends.
Even though teenage rom-coms may set up unrealistic standards, I’ve attached to them some level of sentimentality. Yes, like I did, you may have to reconcile the fact that real life isn’t as great as the movies make it out to be, but who doesn’t want to escape into another reality every once in a while?