Name: Jan Zielonka
College: Timothy Dwight
Hometown: Brooklyn, NY
Jan and I first met at the Freshman retreat for TDers, lovingly named Llama land. He’s a fun-spirited trickster who loves sports and rap. Jan knows how gullible I am, so he tried to fool me multiple times in my interview—he even tried to convince me he was a descendant of a Nordic God named Olaf Brögen (Jan, pronounced Yan, is Polish). Jan and I sat down in the Timothy Dwight common room, a very brave choice for him considering that we are currently in the height of the TD assassins game and the common room is a prime location for taking players down. But Jan arrived, valiantly armed with his water gun, to answer a few questions for Her Campus.
HC: We are in the midst of a very intense TD assassins game right now. How is it going for you?
JZ: It’s going great, I’ve averted one of my assassins, who was very sure he was going to get me, but I’m doing really well. I don’t think people realize how seriously I take this. I convinced my friends I was sleeping in Bingham.
HC: What’s your strategy?
JZ: Be as paranoid as possible. Don’t trust anyone.
HC: What other things are you involved with at Yale?
JZ: I’m on TD student council (Mott Woolley) and C2 soccer. I’m also a lifeguard- I’ve saved people’s lives before. It’s much scarier than it sounds.
HC: That’s impressive! What do you do with your downtime at Yale?
JZ: I play lots of FIFA- I win lots of FIFA games. And I just like to workout, maybe go for a swim sometimes.
HC: So, I know that you are able to freestyle…
JZ: Not just able, but good at it, too!
HC: So can you give us a little rap on the spot?
JZ: I can give it a shot, I’m really nervous though!
After much coaxing…
JZ: So I’m at Yale and I like the girls
Some would say they’re the best in the world
And I know you heard my word
It is quite absurd
How I spit it
They are fly as a bird—
Unfortunately for Her Campus, Jan was cut short by one of his friends— he was a bit on edge because of his intense participation as an assassin. But I can attest that I have heard him freestyle before and he does have quite a talent!
JZ: I have legal restrictions on my free-styling as part of my contract. Which I recently signed with Shady Records.
HC: I can’t tell if you’re being serious…
JZ: I’m completely making this up!
HC: What do you like in a girl?
JZ: I really like when I can just look into a girl’s eyes and they are just very pretty eyes that smile, you know? Ones that smile and say how’s it going?
HC: Why are Yale girls the best?
JZ: Because you know when you go up to a Yale girl that you can have a wonderful conversation about absolutely anything and you know they are going to reciprocate. I just like being able to open yourself up to another person and having them open up to you- which I’ve had with so many girls at Yale.
Jan and I slyly crept out of the common room and dashed across the courtyard to avoid all other assassins. Hopefully his tactics will carry him through to the end of assassins. And don’t worry ladies, I’ll keep pushing Jan to finish his rap!