Its that time of year again. The leaves have fallen, the misteltoe is sprouting, and “The Game” has left you dreaming about some crimson-wearing idiot attending a certain liberal arts school in the Greater Boston Area. After sharing 1.4 magical nights together, your hungover self wonders how to date/court/marry that same idiot. Well brush your teeth, dawg–I’m about to tell you.
-
Buy a car. I hope you’re prepared to spend many hours taking the road North to visit your lover. Invest in a nice vehicle to accompany you along the way. Make the seats leather. Get a big trunk so that you can impress them with large gifts.
-
Learn to trust the enemy. Dating someone at Harvard won’t work if you don’t trust the person
-
Erase your memory of all things Harvard. Your Harvard lover will never stop trying to one up you. You know their school sucks, but it’ll be even more of a power move if you don’t know their school at all.
-
Get used to facetime, figure out your best angles
-
Learn latin. Nothing shows your intellectual superiority like speaking to your lover exclusively in latin.
-
Make sure your endgoals are in the same ballpark. Do they want to work in finance too? Great. If not, change your life goals so that they match your long-distance partner’s.
-
Don’t – Why go to Harvard for a little under average sex when you could find it right here in the New Haven. Boola Boola, bitches.