It’s been a little over a year since you’ve been gone, and to be completely honest, it was the worst year of my life. Having to learn how to live without you has been the most difficult, awful thing I have ever had to do. But even though this past year has been extremely rough and absolutely the hardest thing that I’ve had to overcome – complete with all of the pain and tears – it has taught me a lot about life. And everyday I wish that you were here to teach me these things in person.
How to be strong during difficult times. If I’ve learned anything in this time, it’s how to be strong, not only for myself, but for my family. Our family adapted and became stronger together in order to hold each other up and to start moving forward. Now when times get tough, I just remind myself that I can get through it and overcome anything that gets in the way. Those that have supported my family and I this past year have also taught me how to be strong for others when they are in need of a shoulder to lean on.
Never take anything for granted. I remember thinking that I would always have you around, I never once thought to myself that you would one day be gone. I took our relationship for granted, thinking I would have you for every step in my life. Now I don’t take anything for granted.
Love truly conquers all. Even though you’re not here physically, I still feel your unconditional love for my family and I every day. Strangely enough, you have taught me a lot about love, even though you aren’t here to teach me. Every time I think of you and even right down to whenever I make your famous spaghetti sauce, I feel your love pulsing through me, and it brings me to tears every time. Whenever our family gets together I can see the unconditional love you have for us radiate from everyone, because you were, and still are, such a big part of our lives.
To live everyday as if it’s my last. When you passed so suddenly, I learned a life lesson immediately; that you truly never know when your last day is going to be. So I decided to take on a new outlook on life, and started to do things I’ve always wanted to do, but never had the guts to do. I changed my major, made new friends, and I even applied for a job that I never thought I would be able to handle, which I now absolutely love. With this new outlook on life, I’ve become a happier person, and it’s helped me stay motivated to start moving on with life without the most important person in it.
Even though you’re not here anymore, it doesn’t mean that I need to quit living too. There were too many mornings where I couldn’t get out of bed, and many nights where I fell asleep with tears in my eyes. I’ve broken down in the middle of the day when I saw something that reminded me of you, and many times where I didn’t want to speak to anyone. After months of wallowing, I woke up one morning and I thought to myself that this isn’t what you’d have wanted for me. I am still living, and I know you would have wanted me to keep living my life and go on to do something great. So now, I do my best to live my life to the fullest that I can.
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