Being on dating apps has a lot of advantages. Dating apps make it easy to find what you are looking for in a potential significant other and it gives you the opportunity to meet and connect with new people.
But there are some downsides too, especially when you are overweight. A part of it is because of the people on the dating apps.
On certain apps, I have been called “fat” and “too ugly to sleep with.” I have even been told I should go on weight watchers. Guys have even told me that I should just “settle for him” because of my weight. My thoughts while reading these messages were, “Why would you swipe right just to make fun of me?” or “I already know I am fat” or “Why waste time even bothering to write messages like that?”
Messages like those can even make the most confident person’s self esteem go down. I even got mad at myself for letting those comments get to me. It was hard for me to understand why people could look past all my great qualities, and focus only on my weight.
Besides mean messages, it is also easy to come across people who have a fetish for overweight people. There is nothing wrong with those who like bigger, curvier, people, but it is a problem if they only focus on the weight and not the person themselves.
I have received comments like, “I have a thing for big girls” or “I have never been with a big girl before.” Some people like to be with someone overweight as something to cross off their bucket list. But having sex with an overweight person, not like trying anal, it cannot be something to just cross off your bucket list.
Ways that I combated these thoughts was by realizing that I am not the problem. Just because I am bigger does not mean that I am a waste of time. When people usually insult someone else, it is usually because they are going through their own shit. It was hard for me but I remembered who I was and that I deserve love, sex and attention, just as everyone does!