Almost everyone’s life has been peppered with questions from anxious adults who love children. From a young age, they want to know when you are going to have children, how many you plan to have, and what gender you hope to get when all’s said and done. It’s easy to think about how stereotypically young girls are taught to grow up and be excited for the family they can create, but often times there is a loss of translation when the same message is sent to those who just don’t want children at all. The selfish, unfair, inconsiderate, must be joking kids of yesterday, now adults of today, are serious in their thought process, and ask considerately, that people please stop treating the situation like the end of the world.
There are multiple arguments that fly out of the gate when someone states that they don’t want children. Ask anyone who has discussed their childfree lifestyle beliefs and they can list them off; or read this list below instead:
1. When you meet your someone special you’ll change your mind.
While many people find this true for themselves, a lot of dating, engaged, and married couples still find that they do not want children of their own. Often times, the debate about whether or not to have children is the mitigating factor in relationships. It can end long-term relationships when one person finds out how serious the other is about not having kids, and is often used as a way to weed through potential partners to find someone who thinks the same way.
2. It’s your job to have children.
Let’s be honest, it’s no one’s job to have children. If someone grows up and decides that yes, they do want to be a stay-at-home parent as their job, that’s fine. But much like you wouldn’t tell someone interested in genetic science that they have to work as a French historian, telling other adults that they have to have kids is restricting their potential.
3. It’ll be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
It may be the best thing that ever happened to someone else, but having children doesn’t rank highly on many future achievement lists. There’s often a forgetfulness that there is a large population of parents who even regret having kids and while they still support them, just wish they had never had them to begin with. This regret and the fear that comes with it is a real side effect of having children that needs to be taken into consideration.
4. You would be a great parent though.
We could all be great at anything, parenting included, if we took the time to practice and master it. That doesn’t mean childfree adults want the extra responsibility of being responsible for another human all of the time. Being a great parent doesn’t have to mean producing the children being parented either. Someone can parent for a living or as a volunteer service to others. Compliments accepted however.
5. Your partner will leave you for someone who does want children
Chalk this up to number one on the list. Hopefully at this point in the relationship both parties have already discussed preferences and have come to peace with what will or won’t be happening.