“Hey babe, we have to talk.” Six words no one wants to hear if they are in a relationship. Why? Because more often than not, those words lead to a break up and those suck for everyone. Movies, songs, books, hell there even paintings about breakups. One thing there aren’t a lot of, though, are guides on how to get over it and get back out there. These tips are meant to help you, or that one friend you have that can’t seem to be able to do it on their own, welcome change with open arms and a smile
Remove traces of your Ex from your life.
This may sound cruel, but it helps. Now this goes from simply taking down pictures of them and putting them into storage somewhere, to chucking everything they ever gave you into a fire. Unless you have a good reason, I would not recommend the fire. Some of the stuff you got was, and still is, useful. Be it oversized sweats, a cute stuffed animal, or even a real animal. If stuff you got from them still makes you happy, keep it. But if it gets in the way of you moving on, ditch it.
Don’t be too quick to change everything about yourself.
Just because your relationship ended, doesn’t mean you have to go and get a new look, or start acting different. In fact, it’s the complete opposite! You were an amazing person before your ex, and you will continue to be one after. Now, having said that, I admit that the desire to change is there but, again, that doesn’t mean complete overhaul. A few things here and there are fine, but you have to make sure that you don’t lose yourself in all the changes.
Don’t exclude your friends.
As you are going through this, you’re going to want a network of support around you. People you can vent to, cry with, tear up things with, and basically any other breakup activity you plan on engaging in. You are also going to need someone there to tell you when you are being dumb (Let’s be real, we all wish we had one of those). That’s where your friends come in. Your friends will say what needs to be said, listen when you need them too, and let you know when to stop moping about and to get your ass back out there and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Honestly, without friends, the breakup processing period would last for years.
Don’t get your friends over-involved.
Oh yeah, I knew there was something I was forgetting. Now, friends are useful, but you have to be careful with how involved you actually want them to get in your breakup. Getting them over-involved can lead to them going from a resource to a hindrance. Like I said earlier, you’re probably going to want to spend more time with them now, for whatever reasons, and you’re probably going to talk about nothing but the breakup for a while. However, one day you could be gearing up to talk about it for the umpteenth time, when all of a sudden your friend either outright shuts you down, or “politely” diverts to another topic. This could be a sign of them trying to help out, but it could also be a sign of annoyance. Utilize your friends, but remember that they are still your friends; they aren’t your personal diary.
You’re single, so start mingling!
Get back out there and just be you! You don’t have to go out and immediately find yourself a new boo, but you definitely can’t sit around and mope. Go out and meet new people, try new things, do things you couldn’t do in your old relationship. Mainly, just remember that the world didn’t end when your relationship did, it merely just got a little bigger.