This article is a personal testimony piece by a HCXU writer. If you’d like to write for HCXU please email xavier@hercampus.com!
There are so many people in today’s society who walk along a path filled with passiveness. They believe that avoiding problems solves problems. They do not believe in effectively communicating about a problem, because they are scared of what may result of the communication. They want to stay away from a problem in order to combat it.
For the longest time, I have lived along this passive road. I have tried to stop thinking about problems and avoiding them. For a short time, the problem did seem to go away, however, it was just masked with a subtle awkwardness that was always present in a room. Because I was not always direct about my problems, they never really went away.
I did not think this was a problem for the longest time. I always thought, “Oh, well, no one else is going to talk about it, so I am not going to bring it up.” I used this logic for as long as I can remember. I did not want to confront people. I did not want to hurt their feelings. I did not want other people to be mad at me. I thought that I had to please everyone and make sure that everyone was okay with me. But I pleased everyone at the expense of myself.
It is a ticking time bomb. My passiveness created an unresolved issues pile. When I thought that a problem was over with, another problem would come up. I would avoid that issue and add it to the ignored problems pile. The ignored problems pile would grow and grow until it could not handle any more unresolved issues. All it took was another small issue to ignite the ignored problems pile into flames. All of the piled up issues came back to the forefront of my thoughts. Tucked away problems came back into my train of thought, and I could not stop thinking about these old, unresolved issues. Tears flooded down my face and negative emotions took over my body. I could not stop thinking about old, hidden away problems that I failed to effectively communicate. All of the tears and negative emotions came about from one small issue that I failed to effectively combat.
The tears and negativity from my pile of problems made me realize the importance of communication. I always thought that I could get rid of my problems through avoiding them, but I have now realized that is not the case. Communication allows for the problems to come out of you and into the world. When one does not communicate their problems openly, they stay inside that person. The problems continue to build up inside of an individual, and one small problem would cause the build up of issues to explode. They would become emotional about problems that occurred in the past. In their mind, they thought the problem was over and done with. In reality, since the problem stayed inside of the individual, it never really went away.
I know so many people do not want to communicate about their problems. I understand that. It is so much easier and much more comforting to passively go about dealing with problems and avoiding them altogether. However, that will only cause for more trouble in the long run. Talking about one’s problems and communicating about issues openly allows for the problem to leave the individual and become exposed in the world. A huge weight is lifted from the person because they do not have to deal with the burden of the problem. There will be no ticking time bomb within them; they will be problem free!
Communication is not an easy task. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and talk openly about one’s problems. Please remember: you will feel so much better after talking about issues. They will not resonate inside of you anymore. I know that communication will not be easy for everyone, but know that it leads to a better path at the end of the day. It may be difficult and uncomfortable to deal with. It is important to remember that communication will always and forever be key.