Confessions of Your Local Barista

Confessions from she who makes your double tall, extra hot, one and a half pump mocha one and a half pump WHITE mocha nonfat, no foam, and no whip, black and white mocha. A true slave to the siren.

 

 

We are 100% approachable, ANY of us.

Need cream? Water? Whip? PLEASE don’t be afraid to approach the person on bar if they will supply you with what you need. Just because the giant, extra-looking espresso machine is blocking the view does not mean we cannot be talked to. SO many times customers excessively apologize, or WORSE, go without what they want because they are too afraid to ask us.

You see, many of us suffer through what many of us know as BRF, Bitchy Resting Face. Imagine that, while you’re throwing out three drinks per second. We may look annoyed, but more often than not we are just in the zone, more than happy to help kind customers out.

 

THIS also applies when you’re looking for something new.

Us baristas are baby entrepreneurs in the making. We have all this irrelevant knowledge about coffees and sweet drinks, and every barista has some overly-sweetened, crazy detailed beverage of choice. If you want something iced, hot, blended, what have you, we’ve got about 200 different variations of every drink stored in our memories for this VERY moment. My favorite thing to do is shamelessly promote my favorite concoction of the moment using any seasonal beverage. So please. If you need suggestions, absolutely feel free to ask for them. We are more than happy to show off our knowledge.

ALL customers have an impact-- except maybe the rude ones.

If some guy is getting a rise out of talking down to baristas (who are humans by the way) there’s no way we take that judgement to bed with us. The next time we make that same mistake, not once do we stop and think, “Oh wow, I shouldn’t be doing this because one day a wise man came through and made a rude comment last time I [took too long/forgot whipped cream/missed an aspect of their order/etc].” Chances are the only reaction you’ll get out of us is an eyeroll, at best. We are fine-tuned to ignore your rude comments, and spin them. you say, “That took forever,” we literally only hear the “long time,” part which makes us check how long you’ve been waiting and respond accordingly. “Yeah, we’re backed up” if you’ve only been waiting a minute. “Oh I’m sorry, your order is on us,” if you’ve been waiting forever (AND you’re nice about it). Because honestly, we have timers, we know how long you wait and more often than not if you HAVE been waiting for more than five minutes we have to give you your order for free. So customers’ rude comments are rendered irrelevant.

 

Yes we run out of food, so please stop coming in one minute before close asking for it

“Do you have [insert pastry here]?”

“No I’m sorry, it looks like we only have croissants tonight!”

“Do you have [insert any non-croissant related pastry]” “Um.”

Please. Stop this.

 

Frappucinos are a pain to make but only if you make it painful- Patience is everything.

 

The “we spell names wrong on purpose” joke is old and not true.

When you’re a new barista it’s sort of fun to misspell names, I guess. More often than not though, we do spell names to the best of our ability. Some people know name variations more than others, so just roll with it, laugh about it, do NOT tell them about it or judge them for not knowing (refer to bullet number 2). Because 99% of the time I’m looking at the name at the bottom of your little BECU debit card to check myself.

 

We know when you’re messing with the system.

Rolling through the drive thru for a “refill?” Getting an “iced doppio espresso with vanilla and extra cream” (a cheap latte)? We know what you’re doing. Nothing we can really do about it but roll our eyes, but we know what you’re doing. Well played.

 

Separate transactions are DEAD.

Many a customer have rolled in complaining about the new member system and how it hurts those who get cheap drinks every day. And I’m sorry to be blunt there Mr. Tall Drip Coffee, but you’re collateral damage. What we really needed to eliminate was your brethren, the ones that order 5 different transactions through the DRIVE THRU, so instead of making drinks while ringing you up I have to stand there and swipe your starbucks card 5 times instead of getting your drinks to you in a timely fashion.