I’m not good at Trig, or so I discovered as I sat in the floor of Horizon’s Church in Lost Creek, not doing homework, but instead offering moral support and … SQUIRREL. I can compute, no problem. Two times the square root of five, multiplied by two times the square root of five? No problem. All you do is multiply the two and two to get four, and then the two square roots of five cancel each other out to become five. Multiply the four and five together, and the answer is 20. I can do that in my head. (Ok, so you can’t really prove that I didn’t just do that on a calculator. Just trust me on this one.)
There’s a reason why I quit taking math after sophomore year’s Trig class. They say (and I say “they” because I don’t really know, and when you say that, all of a sudden you could be quoting the Dalai Lama, or your little sister’s dolly she calls “Llama,” and people all listen like it’s the most important thing in the world…but I digress), “Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach.”
That is the biggest line of bologna I’ve ever heard. The only time that statement works is if you’re a technical genius, such as a former gymnast who is injured or retired coming back to coach. That would work. Other than that, don’t be blindsided by me saying that I could help you with Calculus.
Back on track.
Recently, I’ve had an interest in physics. I took physics in high school and loved the practicality of studying things that matter to us. Without developments in physics, we wouldn’t have a ton of things (like elevators, psh). I did decently well in this class, so I thought I would try my hand at AP Physics. (That didn’t go so well.) Until recently, I hadn’t thought that much about physics.
I have a yearning to learn about it, to study the formulas and look at the world through different eyes again. I want to see the world as beautiful and moving forward. In such ugliness, I need to find the beauty to keep going.
That’s not the point, though. The point is that what I yearn to study now, I will be able to do because my mind is made up that I can do it. Back in high school, it didn’t work. I wasn’t so good at it, but now I want to try. I’ll have to study math, but I can do that. Maybe what I wasn’t ready for, I am now.
The same thing happened with Jane Austen. I tried reading Pride and Prejudice once during junior year and wanted to die because I was so bored. I gave it another try that summer, and it totally clicked with me. I ended up doing my senior paper on Pride and Prejudice. It’s one of my favorite books.
I am sharing these stories with you to say one thing: don’t give up on what you want.
If you want something, you go after it and it doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean that it never will. It may just not be the right time, and that is ok. Those dreams in your heart are there for a reason. Sometimes you have to be more patient than you want to be. If you’re struggling in your major, don’t think automatically that you’re not meant to do it because everything should come easy and it isn’t. Keep your head up!
There’s a song by Brooke Fraser I’d like to quote here. The song “Love is Waiting” is obviously about love, but it can be applied here, too:
“I’ll give it time, give it space, and be still for a spell. When it’s time to walk that way, we wanna’ walk it well.”
Don’t you dare give up on your dream. It’s in your head for a reason. It’s part of your purpose. Your dreams, your purpose, will find you. Your passion is what reaches out to you and implores you to meet it there in that place of your deepest hunger. Your passion is your deep breaths, your afternoon nap, your morning coffee, your chamomile tea in the evening before bed. Your passion is your heart attack, the blood clot in your veins. It’s your life’s song, your source of praise for what is good, and your pleas in the bad. It’s your best friend, your partner, your lover – something precious that’s worth more than anything.
Until then, don’t give up. Until that thing you thought about in that last bit comes, don’t give it up. Never give it up. Have patience. Enjoy the journey. Once the journey’s over, it’ll never be back. Have fun. Feel, be, and love to the fullest.