After nearly a month on my anxiety medication, my mind has begun to see through the fog of illogical thoughts and catastrophic fears to discover the beauty of reality in the world. Behind the darkness, the sunshine– physical and metaphorical- has shown through. I have found myself treasuring interactions with others, rather than fleeing from them. I spend far less time hiding under the covers. I keep my blinds open. I’ve been smiling more, laughing harder. I have found comfort in being alone. My self-reflections are not toxic, but insightful. I’m becoming more comfortable with myself and my flawed existence, while taking baby steps to continue growing, learning, and evolving. Although the past few days have been a testament to the truth that things improve over time, I have come to realize that happiness is more than a feeling.
Happiness is a lifestyle, a constant give and take action of reciprocated relationships between your mind, body and spirit. It’s not a consistent endeavor. It’s more of a roller coaster ride, feeling the most alive at the peeks, and experience that drop at the core of your being in the valleys. There are days when enthusiasm radiates from my being and others where it requires effort to force through; that’s okay. We are human. We are comprised of flaws and imperfections that sometimes yield mistakes and misunderstandings. That’s okay. Our thoughts will ignite other emotions that defer from happiness and optimism- anger, sadness and anxiety will continue to combat the mind. That’s okay. It is critical that we come to accept ourselves in our most raw and genuine form- to understand that perfection is impossible and entirely illogical. Once we’ve reached this step, we can create room to love the qualities that make us individually unique and offer space to continue growing and improving, in order to reach our fullest capacity as humans. My therapist always reinforces a statement that resonates within the pits of my soul: “Keep your expectations in line with reality.” It’s incredibly simple but overwhelmingly true. While my medication manages my anxiety healthily and creates room for clarity, it’s entirely unrealistic to expect sunshine every day. I, along with the rest of us, must continue to strive for happiness in all that we do, while offering ourselves grace in periods of deviation. On days when you are struggling to capture the bliss within, reach out. Sit outside and feel the breeze against your skin. Read a book and strengthen your mind. Let your soul rest. Meditate. Find your center, and realize your potential. Happiness is more than a feeling; it’s an opportunity, a gift all are worthy of receiving, including you!
“Happiness arises when you relax into the reality of your natural condition. The secrets of the universe are already in you as you. Seeking anything implies that you don’t have it; every search for the idea of enlightenment leads you further away from it. The magnificence of life does not await you – it actually is you.”
Mark Whitwell
Photo Credit: https://coronadotimes.com/news/2015/11/19/you-never-know-what-a-simple-s…