I recently saw an article about “things to know about dating an independent woman,” so I thought I’d bring that into the mysterious world of college where everything is just a little bit different. Or maybe a lot.
1. Her world does not revolve around you. You’re an awesome addition to her life, and she loves having you around, but her world does not revolve around you. She’ll make plans to just hang with her girls, and sometimes she’ll make plans to just be by herself. She still loves you—she just needs a little space sometimes.
2. She might not always answer your texts/calls/Facebook messages/tweets/Instragram messages/snapchats. Refer back to number one. She has her own life, doing her own things and that may mean she doesn’t always answer when you contact her. It doesn’t mean she’s ignoring you—more than likely, she’s uber busy. With homework, with clubs, with tutoring, with any number of things. Give it a little while. She has to check her phone eventually.
And if she’s anything like me, blowing up her phone just annoys her.
3. She probably won’t text you during class. This goes with that whole “won’t need to constantly be in contact with you” thing. She might get insanely bored one day and shoot you a “Whassup?” but otherwise, you probably won’t hear from her until later. So don’t freak out!
4. She’ll probably talk to other guys. Note I said talk, not flirt. A lot of the independent women I know are social creatures. They can strike up conversations with anyone, anywhere. So if you’re at a party and leave to grab her a drink, come back, and find she’s chatting with the guy standing next to her, don’t immediately freak out. Nothing scares away an independent girl from a relationship faster than a guy who tries to control her. Which brings me to number five.
5. She likes to make her own decisions. When you go to restaurants, she wants to peruse the menu and pick something herself. You may think you’re being a “man” by ordering for her, but all you’ll do is irritate her. Same goes for any similar situation: trying to pick out clothes for an event, trying to decide where to go for a date, what movie to see. She will welcome your suggestions and take them into serious consideration. But the moment you choose for her…You can kiss that girl goodbye.
6. She’ll make plans that don’t include you. She’ll arrange for a shopping expedition with her best friends (and probably won’t spend the whole time texting you). She might go dancing or out to dinner with just her girls. Or a Disney-themed dorm sleepover (no boys allowed!). And every once and while—le gasp—she’ll probably want to spend an evening alone with a tub of ice cream and Netflix.
7. She won’t flip out if you make plans that don’t include her. Unless your plans are solo with another girl, or you’re breaking a prearranged date, she won’t mind if you go out without her. Your boy’s call up and want to catch a game? She’ll encourage you to spend some time with them. She might even be relieved to not have to sit through it herself.
8. She’ll want to pay for dinner occasionally. We all know the gentleman pays for dinner, but sometimes, she’ll want to treat you to a meal. It makes her feel like your equal in the relationship (and less like the date is really a bribe). It’s also a way for her to give back to you. She isn’t insisting on paying the bill to emasculate you, she’s doing it to show she cares about you, too.
9. Sometimes, she’ll choose to study alone rather than to study with you. There will be a part of her that wants to snuggle up against you while she does her Algebra homework, but she knows she won’t get anything done that way. I hate to break it to you, but in a battle for her attention, sometimes the homework will win.
10. She may not always say it, but she does care about you. Sometimes she gets caught up in a whirlwind week and doesn’t see or talk to you much. She still cares. She may not always end your goodnight text conversation with a kissy face emoji or a heart, but it doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you. And she may not always say it out loud, but she does care about you.