In college, it’s basically a canon event to be in at least one toxic relationship that you just can’t seem to walk away from. Your 20s are supposed to be messy and confusing, but how long are you going to let a relationship (that you are gaining nothing from) hold you down? College is one of the few times in life when you can completely reinvent yourself. You meet new people and make mistakes and figure out who you actually are. So why should you spend those years stuck in a relationship that makes you feel lonely?Â
If you’re anything like my friend group… I’m sure this advice will go in one ear and out the other, but please take this one piece of advice seriously; there is a difference between a relationship that is comfortable and one that is genuinely fulfilling!! Sometimes, we tend to convince ourselves that being comfortable is enough, or that because we have history with someone, we are supposed to stay with them. Don’t just remember the good memories and ignore the reasons that you are unhappy. I feel like college is where people begin to realize that the person they dated in high school may not be the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. People change! The person you were at 18 may have wanted something completely different than the person you become at 21.Â
One thing I stand by is that the right person should make your life feel bigger and not smaller. A healthy relationship should not make you feel like you have to constantly question where you stand. You should not have to beg for attention, and as my girl Megan Moroney says, they shouldn’t make you wonder. Love should not require you to abandon your standards just to keep someone around. It’s easy to think, What if I never find someone else? What if I regret leaving? Those questions can keep you in a relationship long after you already know the answer. I promise being single is not worse than being with the wrong person.Â
Your 20s are not a deadline for finding your forever person. Just because everyone around you seems to be settling down does not mean you need to stay with your high school sweetheart or rush into marriage. There is no prize for being in a relationship the longest. So, if you are sitting in a relationship that feels more exhausting than exciting, and if this is hitting a little too close to home, ask yourself why you are staying. Is it because you genuinely want to be with this person, or because you are afraid of what your life would look like without them? There is a whole world outside of the relationship you are too scared to leave. Sometimes finding the right person starts with finally having the courage to walk away from the wrong one.