Spring break is literally right around the corner! This is the time of year that everyone is working towards the perfect beach body, buying up all skimpy bathing suits they can, saving up money so you can ball out at the beach, and mentally preparing to endure the most alcohol filled week of the year. The anticipation leading up to spring break has our expectations through the roof by the time the moment finally comes. But if you have experienced this absolutely insane week in years past, here are some expectations and the reality we can all relate to:
Expectation: You think you have acquired the hottest bathing suit known to man.
Heads will be turning. Jaws will be dropping. You hair is blowing in the wind as you bay watch down the beach.
Reality: Every other girl has the exact same bathing suit as you (or something like it).
And dammit she looks better in it than you. I mean, look at that cleavage.
Expectation: You think you are going to maintain the perfect body you worked so hard for.
You are borderline a Victoria’s Secret Angel and nothing can stop you now.
Reality: Your “spring break body” goes to shit literally the first day.
10 beers, 6 shots, and 2 frozen pizzas later – you are officially back to square one.
Expectation: You are going to budget your money and maybe even have some left over.
Groceries? $50. Alcohol? $100. And I need to keep track of who I owe and who owes me.
Reality: You blow most of it in the first day.
“SPRANG BREAK! Let’s buy more shots!” Going…..going…..literally all gone.
Expectation: The weather is going to be BEAUTIFUL the whole week.
Bring on the tan!!! I’m not leaving here until people are questioning my ethnicity.
Reality: It ends up being 65 degrees and overcast.
“I’m drunk so like it shouldn’t feel that cold, right?” Wrong. You’re half naked near the water and you nipples are so hard they could cut through your Triangl bathing suit.
Expectation: You are looking forward to being completely blacked out the entire time.
And everyone else will be too so no one will remember all the regrettable, embarrassing things you did.
Reality: For some crazy reason you find yourself remembering everything.
WHAT WAS I THINKING? Someone totally convinced me to do the twerk contest AND there are videos!!!
Expectation: You are going to wake up every morning and immediately start drinking.
I’ll have a shot of tequila with my eggs and bacon please. Might as well brush my teeth with a beer too.
Reality: You can’t even fathom the thought of alcohol.
A mimosa doesn’t even sound appetizing – that’s saying a lot. Tip: drink anyway and don’t be a party pooper.
Expectation: You cannot wait to take cute “throw what you know” pictures with your friends.
The sunset in the background. Everyone is candidly laughing. Your body looks AMAZING.
Reality: You are lucky to find one or two Instagram worthy pictures.
You look like a fat lard in most of them. Sarah is in the background throwing up. The sun is too bright. The drunken photographer made it blurry. It is just ALL WRONG.
Expectation: You think your fake is going to work perfectly.
It totally works at Back Door and Sports Page, I am shoe in for any bar at the beach.
Reality: You get your fake taken the first night.
“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Morgantown anymore.”
Expectation: What happens at Spring Break stays spring break.
You are there to have the time of your life, make bad decisions, and live out your college years to the fullest. No questions asked and no ragrets.
Reality: Everything will follow you back and haunt you for years to come.
This is not Vegas with your pals. This is spring break with your entire school. The dumb decisions you make will stay with you. I recommend making them anyway, just be aware.
Expectation: Your spring break will be one of the most kick ass times of your life.
The anticipation that’s been killing you is finally over. Welcome to the craziest paradise you’ll ever experience.
Reality: Your spring break is one of the most kick ass times of your life.
But really…It’s pretty surreal.
I hope everyone has the time of their life (I know I will). Please make bad decisions and feel free to share them with me because I could always use a good laugh. Most importantly *activate responsible student mode* be safe and drink responsibly, but not too responsibility.