I often find myself making up excuses as to why I don’t need a relationship and shouldn’t invest in one. After being in a relationship for a long time, perhaps it’s hard to allow yourself to be vulnerable and emotionally ready to do it all over again. In some cases, you find yourself completely immersed in a relationship, fully depending your happiness on another person. After a commitment like this, it’s hard not to be completely devastated and feel as though you have lost a piece of yourself. With that being said, being emotionally unavailable is a real and valid experience. So, how do you know if you are emotionally unavailable, and how do you know when you are ready to open up and be emotionally available again?
How does emotional unavailability start?
In most cases, being emotionally unavailable starts with a bad relationship or a relationship that hurts you. While it takes some people a lifetime and a half to get over a breakup, others can get over one in just a day and a half. This means that the former group takes longer to heal and fully acknowledge they are ready to open themselves up again, which is only natural and to be anticipated after losing a relationship.
How do you know when you are becoming emotionally available again?
The biggest sign of being emotionally unavailable is when you feel like yourself again. Yes, you will have changed due to your long recovery process, but you will know when you are ready. You won’t have the desire to meet every attractive guy in your presence; you will truly feel like you are ready to open up again and love someone. You will feel as though you have learned from your past relationships how to improve in a new one. The final step in knowing you are ready to open up again is when you like yourself enough that you would never think to not respect your own heart, therefore, being happy with or without a boy in your life.
Don’t be afraid to admit that you are emotionally unavailable. Once you are ready for a commitment again, YOU can be the one wearing the pants in the relationship. YOU be the truck driver, YOU dump the truck…if you want to.