Have you heard that quote, “Everyone wants a village but no one wants to be a villager”? If you haven’t heard this before, it basically means that people long for friendship and community, but most aren’t willing to put in the work in order to receive or maintain those friendships. Honestly, think of Melanie and Kenzie from Love Island this summer. Melanie wanted Kenzie to treat her like a best friend, but Melanie did not value Kenzie’s friendship in the slightest. She expected to be cared for, and showed up for when she did none of that for Kenzie. She wanted a village, but was not a villager herself.
I think this bad habit some of us have stems from our culture that pushes individualism, comfort, and self-preservation. While these things aren’t necessarily harmful in moderation, if they become the way we live our lives, these habits can create a very lonely bubble for us.
Keep in mind that I am not saying to never make time for yourself, or abandon all your boundaries that protect your mental well-being, but I am saying to evaluate how you go about your friendships. What habits do you have that could possibly make or break your friendships around you? Is there anything you could do better to take care of the people around you?
There is something deep within us that longs for friendships that show up for us when we truly need them to, or simply after a bad day. A friend to text or call when you need advice. Someone to rely on when you need a ride or a favor. I am becoming more and more aware of the “villagers” around me as I phase into new friendships, and boy am I grateful.
As lucky as I am to be surrounded by amazing girls, I know I have a weight to carry as well in order to preserve and cherish these friendships. I should be a girl my friends can call when they have a favor, need a ride, or even need their dog let out! We as girls need to show up for the women in our lives.
It is important to honor the people who treat you well and with respect. A villager shows up, listens, asks questions, and fills the life around them with intentionality. While our fast-paced culture prioritizes self-care over community, choose your girlfriends. Show up when you’re tired, check up on your friends, make plans to hang out and don’t flake, and prioritize the people you love in your life! Choose to be a villager.