When going off to college, everyone always says how it’s amazing how many friends you make; however, no one ever mentions who you could lose. Growing up and moving away to school comes with a lot of unexpected challenges, as well as blessings. Yet despite the good, it can still be confusing when going through changes in friendships all the way back home. The important thing to remember is how, though sad, it is also normal to lose someone along the way. Coming to terms with it is a challenge, but it’s doable. Change can be a very positive thing.
Heartbroken and lost
Upset and sad are a few of the feelings that come with this unexpected loss of friendship. Nothing is more confusing than coming home after the best year of your life- only to have the dynamics of your friend group completely shifted. Heartbreak is something most people associate with dating, but it occurs in any serious relationship.
Will they miss or forget you?
When leaving someone as important as your best friend, no one ever thinks twice that they might lose such a strong relationship. It’s tough when your friendship fades while away at school because the majority of college students don’t come home frequently. Being separated puts a lot of tension on an already struggling relationship, and because of the distance, it is near impossible to put sufficient effort into patching things up.
Moving on
As heartbreaking as it is, everything happens for a reason. As people grow, they change, make new friends and become a better version of themselves. It is normal for friendships to change. The bottom line is- you’re not the same person as your fifteen-year-old self, and since friends are a reflection of who you are as a person, it is almost obvious that who you surround yourself with will mirror with who you have become.
Being okay with change
Most people are told before they leave for school that it will be the biggest change yet, but the meaning behind that is just referring to the adjustment into a new place. What it doesn’t mean is how along the way someone you love will become someone you loved. The hardest part of the whole experience is how the whole ‘break up’ is resolved or settled. It is important to focus on the positives: think about how many new friendships you’ve made in your first year, or how great it feels to be a part of something you’re proud of. Don’t forget to be happy for the memories you made and the person your (ex) best friend helped you become. Coming to terms with this new relationship takes time but after all, everything happens for a reason.
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Edited by Katie Carnefix