Why Mercury's Retrograde Ruins Lives

Why can't I stop eating? Why did I yell at my computer screen this morning? Am I crying or is it raining? Am I losing my mind? Nah girl. Mercury is just retrograde. 

Ok... but like.. what does that mean? Well the astrology nerd in me will sure as shit tell you in as little words as possible. Right now. From a non-astrological stand point, it occurs when Mercury looks like its moving backwards. But really it just means that Mercury is orbiting the earth faster than the other planets. All the planets surrounding Earth go into retrograde but because Mercury is the fastest moving planet and retrogrades a lot more often. (Usually 3-4 times a year for 2-3 weeks at a time)

That's all well and cool but why does life suck significantly more when Mercury is "retrograde"?

In astrology, Mercury is the ruler of communication, analytical thinking, expressing ideas, and information processing. And when Mercury starts its retrograde that all gets well... f*cked. This year, all of the retrogrades have gone through the fire signs' constellations, and this one that started TODAY (11/16) is going through Sagittarius. Which is why you've probably been feeling a little more aggressive lately. (No shade fire signs) 

Think of Mercury as the worst homewrecker you've ever met, minus the cheating part. Science hasn't gotten to the point where a planet can steal your man. Yet. 

BASICALLY, Mercury's retrograde often times makes you feel impatient and easily angered towards the people you care about, especially your family and significant others. Not only does it give you the uncontrollable urge to start fights for no reason, it also brings up issues in aspects relating to technology and travel plans too. It literally takes every good thing in the world and makes it mildly inconvenient. 

So, in order to survive this totally awful time in all of our lives, just buckle down, leave a few minutes early for class, and make sure you take TWO breaths before you humbly voice your opinion on why you think your relationship is failing.