This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at WPUNJ chapter.
They’re at it again! Our fabulous and super-funny male contributors (a.k.a. our ‘Real Live College Guys’) are back to answer anonymous questions about the love lives of students at WPUNJ. See what Eric and Sebastian have to say now!
Q: I recently ended things with my boyfriend of almost three years, and I am starting to have feelings for one of my coworkers. I don’t want to get into another relationship because at this time in my life I am comfortable with being single, but I am kind of confused about what is going on between my coworker and I. I thought he might have feelings for me too because we did kiss… but we barely speak outside of work. I have a feeling this is a bad sign… any advice?
Sebastian: A kiss is a kiss is a kiss is a kiss. If you’re enjoying being single in the post-teenage years, then enjoying being single means having shared kisses with co-workers, classmates, friends, strangers. Now, I’m not saying go out and share your lips with everyone, but understand that a kiss may define emotional attachment but it also may not. Speak up with your co-worker and ask him what he thought about it. Don’t be afraid. If he cares, he will tell you the truth. Until then, Be Single. Think Single. Live Single.
Eric: I think, unfortunately, you have let this situation stew in your mind and go a bit sour. If you don’t want a relationship right now then you must become accustomed to the unspoken madness that is the grey nether-zone so many people this age find themselves in with the opposite sex. It sounds as though he doesn’t want a relationship either, so go get drinks or end up at a mutual friend’s house and see where the night leads, in both an emotional and conversational sense. Talk to him, open up a discussion about the circumstances, and lay the groundwork for your future encounters. No use worrying; just enjoy the fact someone wants to kiss you.
Q: If an ex of mine is trying to talk to me again, should I give him my attention? We had a really bad break-up, meaning he just stopped talking to me one day.
Sebastian: I apologize for this man’s lack of maturity to just disappear from a world without warning. Now, do I believe you should give him attention? Well, ask yourself this: who has to be the mature one in this situation? By attention, I’m not saying feed into his needs and do as he says. If he has nothing to say, then ignore it. If he has something of value to say, respond.
Eric: That’s extremely upsetting and immature on his part. The only people allowed to just stop talking to people are CIA agents or the actors in Men In Black. I wouldn’t humor his childishness unless you’re sure he has changed. OR, start talking to him, flirting with him, and then just stop talking to him one day. Taste of the own medicine, eh?
Q: So I’ve been talking to this guy throughout the whole semester and so far we like each other, but he has yet to ask me out on a date. Should I just put him in the friend zone and move on? Or should I ask him out?
Sebastian: Don’t let an opportunity disappear because of lack of communication. If you like him enough where you see yourself in a dream introducing him to your friends and family (maybe a bit excessive) then ask HIM out. If you do not see that dream, still ask him and stir the water a bit. Men are just as shy as women are when it comes to making the first move. It is not embedded into our blood upon birth. It’s something we apparently have to learn to do. It is okay for the woman to make the first move if the moment compels them.
Eric: Ask! Contrary to nearly all of the garbage rom-coms and ABC family shows, guys are oftentimes too afraid to ask a girl out. Male sensitivity exists, and the fear of being rejected keeps a lot of beautiful things from happening on this earth. If you really feel a connection set something up with him — coffee, studying, anything! You’ve got nothing to lose.
Got questions for our RLCGs? Leave a comment or email us at wpunj@hercampus.com!