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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Are You Ready to Say Hello to the Positive Results of Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is letting go of negative feelings that hurt them, such as anger and resentment towards another person or situation, and moving towards more positive emotions such as understanding, compassion, or acceptance. Forgiveness brings psychological well-being. An individual who can forgive the things that hurt him can develop the ability to stay in the moment, build healthier relationships, reduce anger issues, and be more peaceful. In addition to the psychological effects, forgiveness also has physical effects on the individual. By resisting forgiveness, the person may experience health problems such as stomachaches, changes in heartbeat, headaches, dizziness, insomnia, weakness, and distraction due to negative emotions such as anger accumulated inside.

Being disappointed and hurt by a person or situation we expected causes anger to grow in us. We believe that the growing anger will protect us from a similar situation that may occur. Therefore, instead of getting rid of anger, we become more attached to anger. Instead of choosing the path where we can forgive and reach peace, we get stuck with the inner obstacles that we create and even feed day by day.

It is wrong that forgiveness is forgetting the wrong done. It is wrong that forgiveness is forgetting the wrong done. Forgiveness does not erase the mistake from our memory or remove our limits on the repeat of the mistake. To forgive is to accept the mistake, the pain and disappointment felt, and to prevent these negative emotions from growing with us.

It is wrong that forgiveness will make you weak. What will enable us to heal is forgiveness, not punishment, and being aware of this is an indicator of how strong an individual’s character is. 

It is wrong that forgiveness is to change the person who hurt you. The purpose of forgiveness is not to make the other person change. Since forgiveness is a personal decision, its effects will also affect us personally. For example, it will change our thoughts, not the other person’s.

It is wrong that forgiveness is to keep in touch with the person who hurt you. Forgiveness does not necessitate continuing the relationship with the person. Forgiveness is a completely personal decision and is important to your own healing process. 

These wrongs that people believe to be true, negatively affect individuals’ decision to forgive. It is important to understand the concept of forgiveness correctly in order to realize these wrongs and prevent the sad memories and past feelings from staying with us today. Understanding the value of forgiveness and the healing process it will bring us, and then accepting the feelings and thoughts that hurt us are the first steps to be taken. With these steps, we begin to assert our own power by opposing the power that the source that hurt us has over our lives. Thus, we begin our healing process. From time to time, we may experience emotional intensities or come across things that remind us of those memories. However, we must not forget that to forgive is not to forget. Instead of trying to escape from emotions and dragging them after us, it would be good for us to tell them that they are in the past.

The way to alleviate the restlessness imposed on our body and soul is through forgiveness. Are you ready to say hello to the positive results of forgiveness? I am ready!

Sidal Yurt

WPUNJ '23

Currently a junior at William Paterson University pursuing a major in Psychology.
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