College is a great but can sometimes be a scary experience. You’re in a new environment and there are tons of new people. That can be especially overwhelming, then you add dating to this and it can be downright exhausting. High school relationships can be very different from college relationships because in college you are really molding yourself into who you’re going to be as an adult. And all this can make us want to Netflix and chill by ourselves. In the age of Tinder and DMs , what can we do when we want to start dating in college?
Here are 5 tips to make college dating a little less anxiety inducing:
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Know what you’re looking for
This seems to be self-explanatory but it can be easily overlooked. We should all have an idea on what we do and do not want in a partner (smoking, religious views, habits, etc.). Knowing what you want in a partner can seriously narrow down your options and make it easier for you to start dating and seriously consider if you really want to date or if you’re feeling pressured to by friends and campus culture. Maybe you want to be a lone wolf for a little longer so you can work on yourself and that is totally ok. There is no timeline or age limit by when you need to seriously commit by. So the key here is to know who you are and your values and have REALISTIC expectations for those potential dates. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you get to kiss a prince or princess.
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Put yourself out there IRL/Online
Whether you like it or not, you’re not going to meet anyone from sitting at home and waiting for the phone to ring. There are tons of apps for all types of preferences and people so try them out to find the one that really fits you. For those of you who have tried the online thing and you can’t seem to get into it then definitely try the old fashion face to face. Remember the standards and expectations you have set for yourself. So maybe the club isn’t the best place for you to meet someone. Remember look for someone with similar interests as you. If you love working out then maybe take a new class and explore the scene there. If you like to cook, take a local cooking class and add a little spice to your life!
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Be ok with rejection/rejecting someone
This is one of hardest things for anyone to do. No one wants to be embarrassed and turned down. But that is a part of life. Don’t let your fear of the word ‘No’ to hold you back from finding a really great relationship. And the same goes for you if you want to reject someone’s offer to go out. Always trust your instinct and if you really don’t want to go out with someone don’t accept to “be nice”. We need to be honest with each other and learn to take honesty. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, it just means that you’re not someone’s cup of tea. Learn from these experiences and move on to the next thing.
So let’s says you’ve signed up for a dating site or you’ve asked someone out from Starbucks and they said yes. What next?? You’ve done the hardest part, which was making yourself vulnerable. Now comes the follow through. You need to remember the standards you’ve set for yourself and your date. I notice that a lot of people go on first dates overly nervous, which is normal, and that can make conversation and interaction awkward. Go into the date confident and that will make it so much more enjoyable.
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Be your true authentic self
We say this all the time. “Be you. Be yourself.” But how many of us order a salad on a first date even though we really just want a huge plate of fries? If you start off being real and honest it’ll make it so much easier to feel confident on that first date. So, if you don’t like sports don’t lie and say you do. You don’t wanna get caught yelling “TOUCHDOWN!” during a soccer game. If you want a burger get a burger. This honesty clause doesn’t mean that you should give away all your secrets or be super honest about how you like to dress your cats up in costumes and have them do kitty fashion week. It’s just a reminder that there is no need to act like someone you’re not because in the long run, if this relationship becomes something serious then you don’t want to get caught in a lie about reading a book you never even picked up.
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Have fun
Dating is fun. Dating shouldn’t be a burden or anxiety inducing. Try new things and meet new people and always stay true to yourself, that’s the most important thing. Every person you meet isn’t going to be “THE ONE” but that’s ok. You’ve got plenty of time to find them. So be patient with yourself and with the process.
BONUS TIP: Text them first. A lot of people fear seeming crazy or desperate to text someone first. There’s nothing wrong with making the first move.