As Dr. Chapman says, “We needed love before we ‘fell in love,’ and we will need it as long as we live.” The book “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Gary Chapman is a #1 New York Times bestseller and it will change the way you communicate with your loved ones. There are over 6,000 world languages and now there is one to communicate love. We live busy lives filled with schedules, errands, and long days. Sometimes we get so caught up in our schedules that we forget to compliment others, to give gifts “just because,” to hug, and to express how much we care. These are key things to a healthy relationship whether it’s romantic or not. The lack of verbal appreciation along with many other things can hinder relationships. Learning which love languages you and your loved ones speak can result in healthier relationships, a better understanding of each other, as well as learning how to communicate more efficiently the ones you love.
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Words of Affirmation
According to Dr. Chapman, verbal compliments and appreciations are powerful communicators of love. People who speak this love language enjoy feeling appreciated and loved. In relationships, whether it is romantic or not, communication is one of the most important aspect of a healthy relationship. For many people, words of affirmation might not be their strength, but it is easy to learn the power of verbally affirming each other. Words as simple as “You look amazing in that dress” or “You always make me laugh” and those three special words “I love you” can go a long way. Compliments and words of appreciation are greater motivators than nagging words.
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Quality Time
Giving someone, you love your undivided attention shows them how much you love and cherish them. When we think of quality time, we often are misled by what this mean. Quality time doesn’t mean being together and watching television; your loved one doesn’t have your attention, Netflix does. Focused attention is a key ingredient in giving quality time to loved ones. Don’t get me wrong it is great to spend time with those you love, but this does not mean spending “together time” by gazing into each other’s eyes. Although, eye contact plays a big part in communication. Sometimes we just need to have meaningful conversations or spend alone time with the ones we love.
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Receiving Gifts
I’m sure we all love getting gifts, however, to people who speak this love language they thrive on thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. Receiving gifts is not focused on the materialism, instead it is the act of giving that holds a great significance. The gesture of giving gifts shows the person how much you care and thought about them. Gifts are visual symbols of love and affection. Giving or receiving gifts in order to affirm one’s love might seem silly, but this symbol of love is more important to some people than others. What truly matters to them is that someone put thought and effort in the gift.
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Acts of Service
Don’t you feel good when you do something thoughtful for people without excepting something in return? By acts of service, I mean doing things to ease the burden of responsibilities that may weigh on someone you love. Acts of service is expressing your love for someone by doing things for them. Whether it is helping with homework, cooking a meal, walking the dog, or paying the bills are all acts of service. These things require thought, time, effort, and energy. People who speak this love language, appreciate that you did something for them with a positive spirit. Remember: no one likes being forced to do something, “
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Physical Touch
Physical touch does not necessarily mean “spicing” things up, if you know what I mean…Physical touch is an important way of communicating emotional love. Whether it is hugging, holding hands, a pat on the back or kissing these are key things in developing a healthier emotional life. We are humans; we crave touch! The act of holding hands, kissing, embracing, and sex in a relationship are all ways of communicating love and people whose primary love language is physical touch feel unloved without it. Dr. Chapman emphasizes that physical touch could either make or break a relationship. Physical touch is far louder than words.
Check out the link below to find out your love language!