The 10 Most Annoying Things that Happen at Diwali Parties

So, many of us know that Diwali passed last week; and if not, Diwali is an Indian holiday celebrated globally and is known as the Indian Festival of Lights. It was the week of November 9th, and it is the second most colorful and bright Indian festival after Holi, the Festival of Colors. This holiday is almost like our Christmas. Even though I love being Indian and love our festivals, I’ve noted some things that genuinely annoy me about attending these annual parties. Come sit down and grab some popcorn cause you are about to either be hella confused or about to relate.

  • The hit-or-miss food - The food is either super good or extremely terrible. There is legit never an in between. The butter chicken can either taste like cardboard or burn your tongue into nonexistence.
  • The music is super old
  • You’ll instantly be surrounded by tons of Indian Aunties asking why you have either lost or gained weight.
  • You’ll be asked (if you’re 20 or older) when you’ll be getting married and if someone could find a nice guy for you. Don’t worry he’s most likely an engineer/doctor/lawyer! *ugh*
  • You can’t talk to boys. God forbid you give a boy a hug at this function; you will be questioned for hours when you get home.
  • Don’t talk to that aunty. She gossips about everything and anything; you got a piercing? Well, now the neighbor’s aunt’s cousin knows it, too.
  • There’s always that random relative the comes up to you and suggests Fair and Lovely for your acne scars all over your face, and then claims that if you’re not lighter, no one will marry you. (I’m not kidding). For anyone who doesn’t know, Fair and Lovely is a type of facial cream that is supposed to help your skin become brighter. Their ad depicts a woman's skin slowly getting lighter.
  • The all-known “beta, how are you doing in school, straight A’s?”
  • Which follows the bragging, “you know my son got a 3.8 this semester, applying to med school.” Aunty, I genuinely don’t care. Half of these kids who are “applying” to med school also get drunk daily and party like no other.
  • Lastly, the most annoying of all, the gossiping to other aunties about you. Remember how you hugged that guy 4 Diwali parties ago? Yeah, it’s here to nip you in the butt now.

 

Some notes*

*beta- daughter/son/kid

*aunty- just a respectable way to call your elder women, do not have to be related to you.

Happy Diwali!

HCXO.