We’ve all heard it, whether it be in passing or from a friend, or we were the ones actually saying it; “I don’t know why I’m with him, I don’t want to be single though.”
A few days ago I overheard a classmate say those very words to her friend and it got me thinking, when did the fear of being alone cause us to stay with someone who turns out to be completely wrong for us? More importantly, why are college-age women worried about being single?
As young adult women we dwell not only on fashion and celebrities, but on relationships as well, whether we are a part of one or not. Not to say that a relationship isn’t a nice thing, it’s a great thing, but it’s becoming more common that girls aren’t standing up for themselves for fear of falling into that dreaded status: single.
My fellow classmate went on to say that her boyfriend calls ‘breaks’ in their relationship whenever he feels like she is asking too many questions. She asked her friend what she should do, because she thinks he is cheating on her, but is scared that asking him about her suspicions will cause him to leave her. The friend, without missing a beat, told her to dump him.
We’re in college. We are still figuring out who are and what in the world we’re actually doing here. I don’t think being a single lady in college is going to define anyone’s future and future relationships. Yes, I could be wrong, but I doubt I am.
This girl was terrified of being single, which leads me to ask, is a woman’s dependence defined by who she surrounds herself with? I would sure hope not. I have always said that my independence is never measured by dependence on a man. And it’s true. I’ve dated and been in a couple serious relationships in my day, and when the relationship meets its expiration date, I’m still the same person at the end of the day. The word ‘single’ isn’t a scary word for me.
Being fresh out of a relationship and being on your own is nerve-racking for anyone, we all can agree on that; yet I find it scarier to be in a relationship that has stopped growing and is only being held together by fear of the world outside of couple’s land. Let me tell you, the world is full of people who are just as single as you are, and we all seem to be making it. (There’s hope? Yup.)
Holding onto something that has lost its wheels and isn’t moving forward is detrimental to anyone’s mental state. Being in a relationship shouldn’t be about constantly molding something to make it work, it usually works on its own. It isn’t about being single, it’s about seeing that your significant other is not respecting you, and you shouldn’t settle in a relationship like that.
No one should stay in a relationship that is causes heartache and unneeded stress. When the relationship has lost the respect component, it’s time to call it quits before you start to lose respect for yourself because you’re scared about changing your Facebook status.