I have never heard anyone say “Oh! Long-Distance is the way to go!” In fact, I think I have heard more people say the complete opposite.
I am currently in a long-distance relationship.
My boyfriend lives 712 miles away from Kalamazoo in Brooklyn. At first, we broke up because we were both convinced that long-distance would kill everything. That it would suck way too much. That we would be better meeting new people… blah blah blah.
Turns out, we are inseparable (minus the distance thing).
Through this experience, however, I’ve learned a few things that make it work.
If you are thinking about going long-distance, I have a few tips you should consider before committing to it.
Number One: It’s really, really, really difficult.
In order to make it work, you have to understand and really accept that you will cry, you will be alone, and you will want to just give up. They key is deciding if it’s worth it. I made the decision (well, we did) to keep it going, because (gasp!) we love each other. Every time I see a couple all kissy and touchy, I think about what I’m missing and it will get me down. But you cant let it. Replace those thoughts with happy ones!
Number Two: Talk! But not too much.
You are still separate people and now you live really separate lives. It’s pretty difficult to update your significant other about everything you do every day. So don’t. It’s a waste of time quite honestly. Keep your conversations to stuff that matters, to stuff you would talk about if they were living next door.
Another thing, don’t let your long-distance relationship get in the way of your other relationships. I don’t ever want to hear anyone say, “I’m going to talk with him later, so I don’t think I can go”. (unless it’s a planned skype date) What? Go have fun! You still need to live your life – it’s what keeps you sane (just ask some of my closest friends)!
Number Three: Have a date in mind to see each other.
The countdown is a very therapeutic device. While it may be expensive to fly or drive to see each other, it’s sooooo worth it! (I’ll be going to New York in a few weeks for 5 days!) I had to put off doing some things I enjoy in order to save money for the trip, but I’m still living life and I’m getting more and more excited about seeing him! This date could be… Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever works! Just do it!!
Good luck out there, I know it’s hard.
Until next time,
-Alyssa
Editor: Katelyn Kivel