Earlier this week on October 11, many celebrated National Coming Out Day. National Coming Out Day is a day to celebrate members of the LGBTQ community coming out. People all around the country celebrated this day, including students at Western Michigan University. Three students from WMU described their experience with coming out and the positives and negatives that come along with it.
Jen Parker
“I dated a guy all throughout high school. We were the ‘it’ couple. Everyone thought we were going to get married. We went to church together, we were basically Jack and Jill. But… there was this girl that always really captivated me.” Jen, a freshman at WMU describes her experience with realizing that she is gay.
“Me and this girl were best friends in the fifth grade. One day in the summer, I invited her over at 5AM. We were in my bed, facing each other, and we talked for hours. Suddenly, she stroked my arm, and it made my heart beat faster than I ever thought capable.” Jen realized in that moment that her feelings for her friend, Katie, were more than friendly.
“My mom said, ‘Jen…I think Katie is in love with you.’ I was like, ‘What? Why do u think that?’ and she said it was the way Katie was looking at me.”
“I tried so hard to hide how I felt, but somehow my mom knew.”
After about a month of Jen denying her sexual orientation, she broke up with her boyfriend and started dating Katie. Standing in the kitchen one day, her mom finally asked.
“Are you gay?”
“I just said, ‘yes. And Katie is my girlfriend.’ My mom started bawling. When she asked me, I knew that she knew I was gay, she just wanted me to say no.”
After crying, Jen’s mom told her she loved her and that she was happy for her. Jen didn’t expect her mom to be so easily accepting. “My mother is a catholic southern woman, and I knew that I wasn’t exactly what she wanted me to be.”
That moment meant the world to Jen. She said it made her feel liberated, like she could finally be her true self.
However, she said that coming out to her mom was easier than her dad.
“He didn’t talk to me for three weeks.” Jen said she felt selfish for coming out because she didn’t want attention and she didn’t want to make anyone mad.
“But coming out was the most selfishly beautiful relief that I ever gifted myself, and dating Katie and falling in love for the first time reminded me that it was worth it. Loving others and loving myself for once in my life didn’t make me feel selfish anymore.”
Eventually, Jen’s father began to accept who she is. He told her that he just wants life to be easy for her. He made an effort to accept who she is, and “he even talks about girls with me now sometimes.”