Welcome to the Animal House: A Guide to Your First Frat Party

If you are new to William and Mary, you may be highly anticipating your first college frat party, wondering what to expect, or maybe feeling a bit nervous. Or perhaps you weren’t aware that William and Mary had parties. But really, ladies, the William and Mary frat party can be easy and fun to navigate as long as you know how to avoid certain “trouble spots.”

 
In the beginning of the year, there are large parties in “the Units,” the on-campus fraternity complex. These parties are advertised as Facebook events (get stalking) and are some of the largest parties on campus all year. Even though upperclassmen may joke about stereotypical freshmen travelling in such large groups, it’s the perfect opportunity to bond with new hall-mates early in the year.   Not to mention, it’s also safer to travel in such a group, particularly if you have a few friends to watch your back.  You don’t want to end up being known as the girl who stands alone shouting to everyone about how shiny the floor is (No names will be mentioned).  And although it happens rarely, the possibility of sexual assault is also a reality. Almost 5% of William and Mary students have experienced rape or attempted rape within the last year (WM Sexual Assault Resources). Please, don’t let this scare you. Overall, William and Mary is a safe school and people look out for each other, but you should still be aware of yourself and others.
 
By the time you leave you should be dressed with the knowledge that you are going to be dripping sweat within large throngs of closely packed people.  Remember, these parties are dance parties.  In terms of wardrobe, Rachel Fybel ‘14 advises you to “go a little crazy but not to reveal more than you are comfortable with showing because ultimately you want people to approach you, and you certainly don’t want to attract the kind of attention that you aren’t looking for.”  At the Units, the dance floor on the ground floor may not be very busy.  Don’t worry; just go upstairs. The fraternities typically use these parties to recruit new members to their organization, so they like to start upstairs to talk to possible members. But don’t be discouraged! David Sherman ‘12, Vice President of William and Mary’s Delta Chi chapter, explains that “even though these parties are recruitment tools, they’re still parties, and there are plenty of freshman guys eager to meet freshman girls. Plus, the older guys in the fraternities are going to be friendly too, because they want girls to see their fraternity as a fun, safe place to hang out and meet people. The people in Greek life tend to be friendly and socially outgoing, so you’ll definitely make new friends at a fraternity party.”  So before the dance party gets going, use this time to bond with your hall-mates and meet new people upstairs. 
 
Upperclassman will usher partygoers downstairs for dancing soon after.  This is where the real fun begins. Maybe you met someone upstairs who wants to dance with you, maybe you didn’t.  It makes no difference. Typically what happens is that couples and groups start dancing on the floor while men stand on the steps watching like predators, hoping to swoop down on a girl who catches their eye. Hawkward. Don’t be afraid to say “no” if you’re not into dancing with someone because there is nothing worse than feeling obligated to rub your rear on someone you’d rather not.  It may seem a little mean, but simply smile and say, “Sorry, but I’m just here with friends,” and walk away hoping that he and David Guetta find “where dem girls at.”  It gets the message across more comfortably than flat out rejection. There are other fish in the sea– for both of you.  And in terms of fishing, eye contact goes a long way in getting someone to approach, but if you’re super confident just go ask him yourself! If the whole “dancing with strangers” concept makes you uncomfortable, or if it just isn’t what you are looking for, well that’s what girlfriends and gay friends are for! Most importantly, have fun, meet a lot of new people, and share funny stories the next day.
 
What happens after the party is a different story for a different article, but three tips I would feel remiss in not mentioning are:

1. Avoid hooking up with guys who live on your floor. It’s hard to avoid them… And the rumors.
2. Your hookup may not contact you again. Or he may. Just be prepared.
3. Let a friend know where and with whom you are going.  Someone should always know where you are.

 
After the first party, you will know what to expect from the rest. Later, smaller parties will be a little different but not nearly as overwhelming as these first parties. In my opinion, these are some of the most fun parties of the year and a rite of passage to be enjoyed. Good luck!