“OMG, I seriously hope he didn’t tell his friends that…do you think he will?”
“Does he honestly think we’re going to hook-up again?”
“Why are they calling me a sl*t? It’s not like I slept with any of them…”
Any of these sound familiar? As a collegiette™, I’m sure they do. And if you are anything like me and my friends, then you are probably well-versed in conversations similar to this. But there is one thing that many of us never get to hear: the guy’s side of the story. Haven’t you wondered from time to time about what he expects when he asks you to a date party, or how he feels about you accidentally making out with his fraternity brother? Well, here’s your chance. I sent out a questionnaire to number of William & Mary guys (thank you to those who responded) to get their perspectives on girls, hookups, etc.
What is your definition of a hook-up?
“A hook-up is a extended physical interaction that goes beyond making out. Typically hook-ups occur behind closed doors or in privacy. A simple make out (especially on a dance floor) does not count.”- Jamie Blake
“I think a “hook-up” ranges from making out, up. Unless you’re on a dance floor. A dance floor make out does not count as hooking up.” – Anonymous
WHEW. You can relax. You can forget about that embarrassing DFMO from fall semester sophomore year! It didn’t count as a hook-up, so it didn’t happen! Right…?
Do you expect a girl to hook-up with you if you bring them to a date party?
“No. If a girl wants to hook-up with you she’ll do it, if she doesn’t then you’re either doing something wrong or it’s time to move on. Inviting a girl to a date party expecting a hook-up is the recipe for an awkward date.” – Colin McGlennon
“Not necessarily, but that’s usually the idea.” – Anonymous
Answers to this question were pretty 50/50. Your best bet to figure out the guy’s expectations is to take into account the vibe between the two of you. If it’s very platonic, then you can probably safely assume he does not care about anything physical, he just wants a date that will be fun with no pressure added. On the other hand, if you have a very flirty relationship with each other, a date party serves as the perfect way to take the relationship further (and he knows it).
What is your 1st move when you see a girl you want to hook-up with?
“I go up and talk to her. Normally, the parties at WM aren’t too crazy that you can’t talk to someone. I try and find out what she’s into and spill all the knowledge I have on the subject in an attempt to impress her.” – Anonymous
All in all, the responses given were pretty similar to this one. William & Mary guys tend to be pretty simple when trying to attract a girl. A little small talk can lead to bonding over favorite music, or the realization that you both applied to the same colleges, which, mixed with a little alcohol and dim lighting, seems to work pretty well for guys on our campus.
What determines if a girl is “sl*tty” or not?
“Low standards + high volume of dudes she’s hooking up with + possible STDS = sl*t.” – James Pippim
“I consider a girl to be ‘sl*tty’ based on her standards. If she’s willing to have sex with anybody that will give her the time of day, every weekend, she’s probably a sl*t. Overall, I don’t think WM has too many sl*tty girls, something I’m thankful for. Sl*ts are annoying.” – Anonymous
As girls, we tend to use the word “sl*tty” more often than guys do, which is understandable. We jokingly refer to our friends as “sl*ts”, as well as towards the girl who made out with our best guy friend. Guys appear to be less free with the word, using it only in extreme situations.
Feelings about girls hooking up with guys in the same fraternity?
“It personally only bothers me in three instances: 1. It’s a girlfriend of a brother 2. It’s a significant ex of a brother 3. The other brother she hooked-up with was recent, and there hasn’t been considerable time in between the hook-up. I personally have no problem hooking-up with girls in the same sorority, so the double standard shouldn’t matter.” – Jamie Blake
“I don’t mind it, and really it depends on the kind of hook-up. If you dated a guy in one fraternity for a while, it’s probably not a good idea to go hook up with a bunch of his brothers. But if it’s sort of a random hook-up and it happens a couple of times in the same fraternity, I don’t have a problem with that.” – Anonymous
We attend a relatively small school. You probably hang out at the same 2 or 3 fraternities every weekend, allowing for a good chance of overlap. Guys understand that. Don’t beat yourself up about hooking up with 3 boys in the same frat last semester. Odds are the rest of their brothers either don’t remember or don’t care. Just be careful about crossing the line and going overboard. You do NOT want to be “that girl.”
How much detail to guys go into when describing hook-ups to their friends?
“That all depends on how good…or of course, how bad… the hook-up was. If something hilarious goes down then it will be talked about.” – Lee Kripke
Giving the fact that all the other answers aligned pretty close to this one, we can assume that both genders are pretty similar in their manner of giving details on intimate encounters. Friends, guys or girls, will not be interested in every minute of your hook-up with someone you truly like (or your significant other). HOWEVER, if it was completely random, and something genuinely hilarious happened, you are out of luck. Maybe one of you said something strange, or did something unusual. His friends are going to know. And depending on how bizarre the “thing” was, you have to potential to end up on his email list serv open for all his brothers to read…yikes.